Looking Forward Looking Back

January, the first month, is named for Janus, the two-faced god. (Ianus in Latin since the Roman alphabet had no J) He could look backward to view the past and forward to greet the future. In virtually every culture at the conclusion of the year, thoughts turn to what has been and what will be.

As the clock strikes midnight on New Year's Eve, loud noises fill the air to scare off the evil spirits of the past year. Fireworks, noise makers, pistol reports, the clang of pots and pans, Auld Lang Syne sang off-key, a cacophony of sundry sounds serenade us as we enter the new year.

The first visitor over the threshold after midnight is a portent of the new year. A dark-haired attractive person foretells good fortune. Ideally he/she should carry a lump of coal, a coin and a piece of corn or grain. These objects insure warmth, wealth and bounty for the upcoming year. Beware of redheads! For if a person with red hair should be the first through your door, a tumultuous year awaits. Less adventurous sorts have a dark-haired ringer waiting in the wings to guarantee an advantageous transition.

Not only the pandemonium you make, or the people who darken your doorway, but the food you serve on the first day of the year impacts the next 364. Many prepare pork, or other porcine products. Why pork? Because pigs root forward. Cows stand still and chickens scratch backwards. Symbolically, pork helps us prepare for what comes ahead. From the southern United States, by way of the Caribbean, comes the traditional New Year's dish - Hoppin' John - black-eyed peas cooked with ham hocks or fatback, rice and collard greens. Eaten on New Year's Day, this concoction bestows good fortune.

So as the new year approaches, look back fondly, look forward excitedly, but most importantly enjoy the now. The past is but a memory; the future but a dream. The present is to be savored. - as ever BB

"There is superstition in avoiding superstitions." - Francis Bacon

Santa's Other Half

I don't mean Mrs. Claus, but Kris Kringle's retribution doppelganger. In many cultures, the seasonal gift-giver is accompanied by a less benevolent sidekick whose metier is to punish the naughty.

With the modern world's predilection for saccrification and innocuousness, the dark side of the holiday has waned. This "Pollyanna" effect, has removed some of the more interesting Christmas figures. Here's a short list of my favorites:

Krampus - with goat horns and cloven hoofs, this counterpart to St. Nicolas bears more than a slight resemblance to Satan. His demonic mien and rattling rusty chains frighten bad children into contrition. In modern Austria, Krampus celebrations have a feeling of Mardi Gras with costumes and drinking. The party hearkens back to Roman Saturnalia which also occurred in late December.

Black Peter - in German, Zwarte Piet, he assists St. Nicolas. Resembling a wild man clad in fur, he goes down the chimney, ergo his black, sooty appearance. Peter delivers candy and treats in good children's shoes and leaves only soot for the bad ones.

Belsnickel - Santa Claus brings candy and gifts to the good children. For the naughty ones, Belsnickel leaves lumps of coal and switches for the parents to whip the mischievous ones into better behaviour. In France, he is known as Le Pere Fouettard, the Whipping Father.

Rather than focus on the yin of rewarding good behavior and the yang of punishment for bad behavior, we should stress caring and giving for this season and throughout the year. Although, it couldn't hurt to carry a switch to smite those little mischief makers . The writer assumes no responsibility for ensuing legal action - as ever - BB

"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, than we are a sorry lot indeed." - Albert Einstein

Tribuo Nos Gratiae

Give us thanks!

As the fourth Thursday in November approaches, Americans prepare to give thanks. One traditional observance is the Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Immortalized on film in Miracle on 34th Street, the Macy's parade was not the nation's first. That honor goes to Philadelphia's Gimbel's Parade which began in 1920, four years before Macy's. Gimbels is no more, but floats, bands, and, yes, mummers, still march to the Art Museum in the City of Brotherly Love.

Parades have a murky history. They combine the solemnity of religious processions, the order of military marches and the revels of mumming. Dating back to the Middle Ages, mummers would don guises and perform plays, often comedic, in the streets. They danced from house to house, often stopping to perform in pubs. By the 17th century, mumming became a release in which people could hide their identities and celebrate without the constraints of civility.

As you prepare for this annual feast, index what you have to give thanks for and gird your loins for the upcoming holiday lunacy, take a moment to relax. Put on a silly mask, grab and old pot, bang on it creating a cacophonous din and dance down your street bellowing your thanks to all. The neighbors will give thanks that they are not as crazy as you. As ever - BB

"I had rather have a fool to make me merry than experience to made me sad..." - William Shakespeare

Inspiration

The literal Latin translation is to breathe upon. At the oracle of Delphi, a priest would inhale vapors to divine the will of the gods. By the 4th century BC, inspiration anthropomorphized into the nine muses. Each goddess enkindled a specific art form.

Mine is Calliope, muse of epic poetry, not to be confused with Erato, muse of lyric poetry. I worked on a riverboat which had a steam organ, also called a calliope - from the Greek beautiful voice. While I enjoyed the music and the engineering, those living close by eschewed the noisy machine's beautiful voice appellation for a more offensive one. But I digress...

With the rise of Christianity, the Holy Spirit replaced the muses. During the Enlightenment, man turned inward for inspiration. Romantics like Rimbaud and Verlaine used alcohol and drugs. Tolstoy wrote in the village square drawing inspiration from people's faces. Thoreau went into the quiet woods. Marxists believe creative motivation comes from class struggle. Freud traced artistic motivation to the inner psyche.

Each of us must find our own inspirations. It matters not how or where. What we must do is heed our own muse and nourish the muse in others. As ever- BB

"Man's mind, stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimension." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Remembrance of Halloweens Past

Tis the season for "ghoulies and ghosties and long-legged beasties and things that go bump in the night." For me, All Hallows' Eve evokes the nostalgia of youth. My hometown, Haddonfield, NJ, was perfect for Halloween. A small Quaker village located seven miles across the Delaware River from Philadelphia and first settled in the late 17th century.

Its name derives from the fact that most of the town's land made up the fields of Elizabeth Haddon. Daughter of a wealthy Quaker, she came to the colonies at the turn of the 18th century to manage her father's holdings. There she fell in love with and married an impoverished Quaker minister. Their love story is the theme of "The Theologian's Tale: Elizabeth" from Longfellow's Tales of the Wayside Inn.

During the Revolution, England's mercenary Hessians retreated to Haddonfield after the Battle of Red Bank. Many were laid to rest in the town graveyard. Elizabeth Haddon is buried there too, close to the marker pictured above. Many a dark night, I sat in that graveyard delighting in the disquieting darkness and macabre melancholy.

Stories abound of a headless Hessian who was buried there. Each Halloween night, he wanders the dark recesses of town searching for his head. In my youth, a rite of passage was to walk alone in that graveyard late on Halloween night only to be scared witless by the older kids. The next year you helped frighten the next group of neophytes.

Many years later, I was dating a woman who loved Halloween. One October 31, just before midnight, I took her to the graveyard to relive the past. In the interim, halogen lights were installed on the Quaker meeting house and the fire station that border the graveyard. They were to ward off young ne're-do-wells which apparently I was back then. Rather than savor the eerie darkness and whispering trees, the illumination allowed us to read inscriptions on the gravestones. Thomas Wolfe was right; you can't go home again. As ever - BB

"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before." - Edgar Allan Poe

End of the World

Armageddon, Apocalypse, Last Judgement, Rapture, Big Crunch...time's up; we're outta here. Will the earth collapse in a conflagration of fire and brimstone? Will dolphins fly from the oceans as they bid mankind, "So long and thanks for the fish"?

For millennia, man has pondered the world's demise, but today, the end has become big business. Programs on it fill our airways. Volumes fill our bookstores. Films fill our theaters. So who's to blame?

Nostradamus - I've read the original "Centuries" and they are as ambiguous as Dylan's lyrics. Maybe "the transgressor" mentioned in Century IX was Quinn the Eskimo?

The Maya - 2012 is approaching which some say the Mayan prophesied as the end of time. Their descendants deny this; claiming Mayan eschatology differs from the Western European concept. Therein lies our misunderstanding of their cycle of time.

The Bible - various prophets have looked at the old and new testaments for a clue to our end. William Miller used the Bible to predict the day of the world's demise in 1844...twice. Erroneous both times, his followers still believed in the concept, but credited bad interpretation for doom's no-show. They went and formed the Seventh Day Adventists.

The true imminent doomsday is the loss of the daily newspaper. Sure, we can get news from the Internet or TV, but what about eating at a diner? Imagine sitting in a diner without a paper to read. Eggs, scrapple and cup of coffee without a sports page? It's unthinkable! This is what Nostradamus referred to as "The grandeur of the translator will come to fail." Where's the History Channel when you need it? As ever BB

Adam & Eve on a raft, wreck'em, mystery in the alley & moo juice"

Scrambled eggs on toast with a side of corned beef hash and a glass of milk in diner-speak.

Come Together

Here come old flat top, he come grooving up slowly

Compromise - to come together in agreement - parties involve themselves in a process of give and take to reach a plan that works. Over the past few years, this concept has become vestigial in American politics.

Historian Shelby Foote postulated that one of the causes of the Civil War was Americans failing to do the thing for which they have true genius - compromise. The vitriol apparent in current debates on health care, foreign policy, the economy, or any topic you wish to insert, hearken back to those dark days.

Actually, I use a misnomer. A debate is an interactive argument in which facts, logic and rhetorical persuasion are used to support or negate a proposition. Today, political discourse has deteriorated to chaotic chauvinistic calumniation. Both sides are culpable.

Demagogues speak as if imbued with papal infallibility. To change one's opinion, or to compromise for the greater good is anathema. Displaying the ability to change his/her opinion, or just consider a different point of view brands a politician with the stigmata of "Waffler."

This unilateral discourse bodes ill for our future. George Washington and John Adams often paraphrased the popular 18th century play Cato: "We cannot command success, but we deserve it.' I'm not sure we deserve it anymore - as ever BB

"Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed and are right." H.L. Mencken

Nostalgia

"The past always looks better than it was because it isn't here." - Finley Peter Dunne

As the 19th century turned into the 20th, Dunne wrote observations in a syndicated newspaper column using the point of view of a fictitious Irish bartender, Mr. Dooley. One of the targets of his pen were those who pine for the "good old days".

From the Greek words nostos - returning home and algos - pain or ache, nostalgia is usually experienced through rose-colored glasses. In the 17th century, it was considered a medical illness...nothing the loss of a few ounces of blood couldn't cure. Leeches, lancets and scarificators alleviated this melancholia.

The Baltimore neighborhood I live in, Fells Point, celebrates its salvation during the first weekend of October. 43 years ago, planners wanted to demolish a large portion of the neighborhood to create an interconnect between I-83 and I-95. The neighborhood led a "freeway revolt", won and received designation as an historic district.

Since my first Fest 12 years ago, old-timers have regaled me with tales of how much better the Fest used to be. How the area has lost its feel, the bars were cooler, the people funkier, the ambiance more bohemian. I sometimes fall into nostalgia's halcyon web, but struggle to escape its seductive strands. Wallowing in these feelings is a futile endeavor.

We cannot stop Chronos and his consort Ananke as they turn the celestial wheel. Paradoxically, we must embrace the mantras of two icons from the Sixties: Ram Dass "Be Here Now" and the Merry Pranksters "Nothing Lasts" - as ever BB

"Things ain't like they used to be and probably never was." - Will Rogers

Today, the autumnal equinox occurs. Evening's chilly breeze opens the door to nostalgia. Aside from the return to school, Fall meant the annual swapping of comic books.

Having thoroughly perused my summer collection of comics, I was ready for new stories without incurring additional expense. Idiosyncratic tastes veered me from Superman, Spiderman and Batman to Dr. Strange, Cosmic Boy and Captain Marvel.

I longed for a magical word to metamorphose my mundane self into a super hero. Those less familiar with comic book arcana remember Shazam as a buzz word from Gomer Pyle. To me, it conjures an image of the ancient wizard who entrusted his name to a youth. When Billy Batson (another BB) uttered that name, he transformed into Captain Marvel.

Added trivia bonus: Shazam is an acronym for heroes/prophets/gods from the past who gave the wizard his power: Solomon, Hercules, Atlas, Zeus, Achilles, Mercury.

Upon reflection, the time ostensibly wasted reading this pictorial poppycock did impart upon me a remarkable faculty - imagination. As ever - BB

"Nothing happens unless first we dream" - Carl Sandburg

"But, no matter the danger, no matter the dread challenge that awaits me...I...must go forth.." Dr. Strange

First Anniversary

Twas a year ago today I began this blog solely for the purpose of entertainment and elucidation. In reviewing past postings, what elucidation I have provided is opaque. As for entertainment -res ipsa loquitor.

Anniversary is from the Latin, annus for "year" and verto for "to turn". I ponder exactly for what this year's turning calls. In the Middle Ages, German husbands gave their wives' wreaths of silver for their anniversary. In lieu of expensive specie, flowers were often used. The Victorian predilection for lists prompted specific gifts for specific occasions. Emily Post's Blue Book of Social Usage set parameters for observing anniversaries. Traditionally the first is paper, a conundrum for celebration of a paperless medium.

This anniversary calls for expressions of appreciation. Thank you Gaga for the opportunity. And, thank you all who peruse my blog. I can honestly say that composing these pieces over the past year has been a pleasure. I hope reading them has given a fraction of the enjoyment I have had in writing them. - as ever BB

"An incurable itch for scribbling takes possession of many and grows inveterate in their insane breasts." - Juvenal

"I love talking about nothing. It is the only thing I know anything about." - Oscar Wilde

Summer's Denouement

With its final breath, summer conjures up the zephyr of autumn. One act closes, and the next begins.

Astronomically summer ends with the autumnal equinox. Meteorologically it ends on August 31. Traditionally it ends on Labor Day. No matter which point you arbitrarily choose, September is a month of seasonal transition.

The name comes from the Latin word for seven. The seventh month of the Julian calendar became the ninth month of the Gregorian calendar. For US history buffs, September marks the date of the Mayflower departing England , the signing of our oft-neglected Constitution and the penning of The Star Spangled Banner following the siege of Ft. McHenry.

Contrived celebrations clutter the month. Outre observances include Mold Awareness Month, Better Breakfast Month and National Pediculosis Month (for the less pedantic that's head lice- technically pediculosis capitis). If all this spins your head, distracts you, or causes you to lose focus, it's also Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Month. Try not to become churlish and uncivil about it, though, as September is National Courtesy Month.

Counterintuitively, as beer aficionados know, Oktoberfest begins in September. The mayor of Munich opens the first keg proclaiming, "O'zapht is" - "It's tapped." A tidbit of calendar trivia: December aways begins on the same day of the week as September. These months are separated by 91 days (a multiple of 7). - as ever BB

"Tis the last rose of summer left blooming alone; all her lovely companions are faded and gone." - Sir Thomas More

My Les Paul Story

Last week a true genius departed this plane of existence. In the days since Les Paul's passing much has been written about his prowess on guitar and his visionary ideas concerning amplification and recording.

Let me share a personal Les Paul story. I grew up listening to him. Since I could remember, Les Paul and Mary Ford played throughout my house. How High the Moon, Bye, Bye Blues and Via Con Dios, were among the first songs I remember. As I reached my teens in the late 60s, I realized that all the music my parents enjoyed was L7 baby - square.

One day in 1968 a bunch of us were hanging around a friend's house. His older brother walked in after swapping a VW Beetle-dune buggy for a guitar. He proceeded to regale us with his good trade - an early 60s, Les Paul sunburst. He went on and on about the guitar and it's designer. Figuring no one to whom my parents listened could create a guitar used by Pete Townsend and Eric Clapton, I mentioned that I had heard of the designer's father.

My friend's brother relished in exposing my ignorance to all present. The man who played with Mary Ford, Bing Crosby and others was the same one who pioneered the solid body, electric guitar. An invention that could justifiably be called the greatest impetus to Rock & Roll. One of my first steps in realizing my parents weren't as square, nor I as smart, as I thought - as ever BB

"You've got to learn your instrument. Then you practice, practice, practice. And when you finally get up on the bandstand, forget all that and just wail." - Charlie Parker

Left Out

Yesterday, August 13, was Left Handers Day. Once again it passed virtually unnoticed. No parades, speeches, fireworks, but I expected no less. We lefties are truly the neglected minority. Throughout history, we have received no respect. Instead we have been vilified as products of evil and untrustworthy. The left-handed Marx Brother, Harpo, wasn't even allowed to speak!

The Latin word for left, sinistra, is the root of the English word sinister. The Chinese adjective left means improper. This prejudice is obvious in such idioms of the English language as out in left field and left-handed compliment.

About 8% of the world's population is left-handed. However, southpaws excel in a much larger proportion. From Michelangelo and DaVinci to Escher and Klee, from Mozart and Beethoven to Hendrix and Dylan, Mark Twain, Lewis Carroll, Franz Kafka, the list of illustrious lefties is boundless. 18% of our Presidents have been left-handed. Out of the last seven Presidents only two were right-handed - Jimmy Carter and George W. Bush. I think that makes my point.

Of course there are infamous lefties. Jack the Ripper, Billy the Kid, John Dillinger are less that exemplary, but did show elan and panache.

Show us compassion as we try to cope in your dexterous (from the Latin "on the right") world, and your insidious inventions like scissors, ladles, fountain pens, can-openers, etc. -as ever BB

"The raft of knowledge ferries the worst sinners to safety." the Bhagavad-Gita

Non Sequitur Ardor

Non sequitur is a Latin phrase that translates as "it does not follow." Often used in humor, it provides a comedic twist which always tickles my funny bone. As in the joke, "How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?" The answer - "Fish!"

I could put on airs and attribute this to my reading of Keirkgaard's, The Sickness unto Death, or Camus', The Myth of Sisyphus. But to be honest, it traces back to watching Rocky & Bullwinkle in my youth. The show's writers filled every episode with puns, satire, irony and, yes, non sequiturs creating a smorgasbord of silliness.

That flying squirrel and befuddled moose opened my mind to a plethora of peculiar portholes: in art, Dada and Surrealism; in philosophy, Existentialism and Absurdism; in music, Sun Ra and Edgard Varese; in literature, Richard Brautigan and Kurt Vonnegut; in comedy, Firesign Theater and Monty Python.

One may say that it does not follow that a simple cartoon show from the early 60s could uncover such disparate paths. My response is, "Exactly!" - as ever BB

"A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous." - Capt. Beefheart

Yin-Yang

The basis of ancient Chinese philosophy, science and medicine is the concept of yin-yang. The world constantly changes with nothing static. The universe was emptiness - wuji. From that, opposites formed and melded creating the world's balance. Good-bad, winter-summer, love-hate, each holds the essence of its opposite. The symbol of yin-yang is the taigitu. The outer circle is the wuji within that yin and yang co-exist.

In June of 1960, I turned six-years-old. To me, growing up in this period illustrates yin and yang. Beginning with the Eisenhower era of prosperity and superficial family values; ending with the Nixon era of turmoil and social upheaval. These watershed years reached their apex with two events that approach their 40th anniversary. The Manson murders and Woodstock - the opposites of a decade.

On the evening of August 8, members of Charlie Manson's "family" left the Spahn movie ranch for Benedict Canyon. After midnight, they committed grisly, iconoclastic murders. The next evening, August 10, the scene was repeated. Five days later, hundreds of thousands gathered at a dairy farm in upstate New York for the Aquarian Exposition - Three Days of Peace and Music known as Woodstock.

Those 10 days in August 1969 symbolized the yin-yang of the sixties- as ever BB

"I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid." - P.J. O'Rourke

Remembering Lenny Bruce

August 3, 1966, Lenny Bruce was found dead in the Hollywood Hills. Not just an important figure in the history of comedy, Bruce was a touchstone for the anti-conformist generational upheaval of the 60s. Mixing wit and satire with the improvisation and rhythms of jazz, Bruce strove to shake-up the buttoned-down world of post WWII America.

Some pearls from Lenny:

"If something about the human body disgusts you, complain to the manufacturer."

"Life is a four-letter word."

"Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God."

Obsession over his persecution based on obscenity charges combined with his deleterious lifestyle prematurely snuffed out a remarkable, creative candle. In retrospect his routines seem tame, but Lenny Bruce stomped on the terra. - as ever BB

"One last four-letter word for Lenny: Dead. At forty. That's obscene."

- Dick Schapp in his Playboy obit of Lenny Bruce

Bibliotheca

The Internet is a wonderful research tool. A few key strokes open a world of information. It's quick, easy and utilitarian. It's also cold, sterile and impersonal. Before the era of digital intelligence, inquisitive minds had to trek to the nearest library, and what a magical journey it was.

Since time immemorial, man has sought to store his knowledge. Cavemen painted pictographs; Sumerians incised cuneiform tablets; Egyptians scribed papyrus scrolls. Romans built public libraries to enrich patrician and plebeian alike. In the so-called Dark Ages, monks copied, illustrated and preserved the written word. Persian and Muslim scholars assembled massive libraries in Baghdad and Isfahan creating Meccas of learning.

In colonial America, Benjamin Franklin and his Junto established The Library Company of Philadelphia, the first lending library in Novus Mundus. Another American bibliophile, Melvil Dewey devised the eponymous Dewey Decimal System. Of course he also championed the metric system. Give a guy a millimeter, and he'll take a hectometer.

Entering a library is like walking into a shrine or cathedral. As opposed to data transmitted in binary codes, books are tactile, beautiful objects. The letters typeset with care, the binding and illustrations artwork, the words ambrosia for the mind. Ambling through the stacks, ideas and images are palpable.

Do yourself a favor. Spend the next rainy day at the nearest library and experience the enchantment - as ever BB (Enoch Pratt Free Library card holder)

"I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book." - Groucho Marx

Of Few Words

I have been called verbose, loquacious and pedantic. One word rarely used to describe me is laconic. Pity, I love the word and truly appreciate the sharp brevity of wit.

The etymology of the word comes from the Greek region, Laconia ruled by the Spartans. This warrior race was known for its sparse living conditions and sparser use of language. Here are some examples:

When Phillip II of Macedon invaded Greece, he send a message to the Spartans saying if he won this war, they would all be slaves forever. The Spartan reply was " If "

At the battle of Thermopylae, a Persian commander told the 300 Spartans that the Persian arrows would be so numerous they would block out the sun. The Spartan reply was "So much the better; we'll fight in the shade."

Other laconic comments throughout history:

At a dinner party a woman sat next to President "Silent Cal" Coolidge. She told the president she had bet a friend that she could get him to say at least three words. His reply was "You lose."

Irish playwright, Samuel Beckett taught school for a short time. At one point, the headmaster reminded him that the students were the cream of Ulster. His reply was "Yes, I know, rich and thick." - as ever BB

"Since brevity is the soul of wit, and tediousness to limbs and outward flourishes, I will be brief. Your son is mad." Wm. Shakespeare, Hamlet Act II, Scene 2

Requiem for a Riverboat

The President Riverboat Casino, one of the first modern casino boats, operated in Davenport, Iowa. I was fortunate to have worked on her.

Not a barge with a casino on it, this old girl was an actual riverboat. Christened in 1924 as the SS Cincinnati, she plied the Big Muddy. True Mississippi riverboats were side-wheelers. Rear paddle-wheels were designed to navigate the debris-filled Missouri River. Fires were commonplace on riverboats. So in the 1930s, she was stripped to her hull, rebuilt as the nation's first all-steel riverboat and renamed the SS President.

Port-of-call New Orleans in the fall and winter, cruising the upper Mississippi in the spring and summer, she hosted three-hour dance excursions. Dixieland jazz, big bands, full orchestras, the President saw it all. In the late 80s, she was refitted as a floating casino that opened in 1991. Unfortunately, the cost of upkeep and operational issues, doomed the President. It was decommissioned and sold for scrap.

Once a month, I'd be MOD and had to stay on the boat for the night cruises. I'd stand on the top deck, gaze at the sky and watch the shoreline quietly pass. Words cannot describe the nostalgia conjured up on those magical evenings. Resquiescat in pace matron of the Mississippi - as ever BB

"We move up the river-always through enchanting scenery, there being no other kind on the Upper Mississippi." - Mark Twain from Life on the Mississippi

Mustard Yellow Belt

Fireworks, parades, cook-outs - all take a back seat on July 4th to Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. 2009 marks the 94th time that trenchermen and woman flock to Coney Island to wolf down wieners for $10,000 and the prestigious Mustard Yellow Belt. Will Joey Chestnut maintain the title? Will Takeru Kobayashi reclaim the belt? Last year they tied after the allotted 10 minutes; forcing them to endure a dog-off. The excitement was palpable. Maybe a foot-long shot will win this year!

Officially sanctioned by the MLE (Major League Eating), this event remains free from steroid and betting scandals. However, odds can be found and bets made on several Internet sites.

Frankfurters, franks, wieners, weenies, hot dogs, red hots... no matter what sobriquet you use, July 4th belongs to them. I'll leave describing their contents to writers more intrepid than I. It's a concoction known as meat slurry, technically a mechanically recovered meat product. Mmm, sounds tasty!

Watch the Sandwich Super Bowl on ESPN. Coverage starts at Noon EDT - as ever BB

"A hot dog at the ballpark is better than steak at the Ritz." - Humphrey Bogart

Three's A Charm

McMahon, Fawcett, Jackson - the most recent example of celebrity deaths coming in three. Why threes? Why not fours, fives, or some other number? What supernatural mystique does the first, odd prime number have?

Three is symbolic in the Bible and in many Asian cultures. Euclidean geometry bases calculations on three points of a plane. Freud theorized on the Id, Ego & Super Ego. The Catholics have the Trinity. The Greeks had three fates: Clotho, Atropos & Lachesis. Plato's Utopia was inhabited by three classes of people: laborers, warriors & philosophers. The rallying cry for the French Revolution was Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite. Isaac Asimov wrote of the three laws of Robotics.

My favorite tertiary superstition involves three on a match. During World War I, three dough-boys lighting their cigarettes on one match gave an opposing rifleman enough time to draw a bead on them. In the trenches, that was more common sense than superstition. But it's still considered unlucky nearly 100 years later.

Something deep in our psyche feels an affinity to clusters of three. I don't claim to know the answer why. As Ken Kesey stated, the answer is never the answer. What's really interesting is the mystery - as ever BB

"The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses." - Sir Francis Bacon

Elixir of Life

From time immemorial, man has searched for the wellspring of eternal youth. Alchemists fixated on uncovering the philosopher's stone. This chimera transmuted base metal into gold and was elemental in creating a potion of immortality, the water of life...in Latin aqua vitae; in Gaelic uisge beatha, origin of the word whiskey.

Legends abound. Ponce de Leon searched Florida for the fountain of youth. No evidence of this exists. The tale did not surface until after his death, but facts should never interfere with a good story. Faust consorted with Mephistopheles to forestall death.

In the early 17th century, a lord in service to the king of France presented Carthusian monks with a centuries-old alchemical manuscript detailing an elixir of life. He could not unravel the formula's mystery and hoped the clerics could. Taken to the Grand Chartreuse monastery, the monks labored over it. While never brewing a drink of immortality, they did produce a tonic, Elixir Vegetal de le Grand Chartreuse.

A mixture of 130 herbs and flowers in an alcohol base, this 140-proof concoction claimed to promote good health and defend against vile humors. Its popularity grew and by the 18th century devotees were asking for a more palatable potable. The Carthusians responded with a 110-proof version, Green Chartreuse. In the 19th century, an 80-proof derivative with added sugar and saffron, Yellow Chartreuse, was created. All three still exist.

Barring a pact with the devil, immortality eludes us. However, you can enjoy a draught of this delicious aqua vitae today - as ever BB

"With a pint of Green Chartreuse ain't nothing seems right. You buy the Sunday paper on a Saturday night." - Tom Waits

American Idle

Established after the Civil War as Decoration Day, the term Memorial Day took precedence after World War II. Memorial Day heralds summertime, and the leisure is easy.  Before the 19th century, the concept of leisure existed only for the upper classes.

From the Latin licere meaning to be permitted, leisure is a relatively new concept. Since the mid-19th century, the time Americans' spend at work has declined. The paradigm of work, eat, sleep, work, eat, sleep etc.  was broken. Man's imagination endeavored to occupy these ancillary hours.

Technology developed gadgets to fill our leisure time. Electricity brought the light bulb, radio and then the golden calf of inactivity - television. TV, cell phones, DVDs, video games, personal computers, face book, twitter have mutated our idle time into a false idol. Sociologists call these new diversions transcendental vegetation. Simple joys like reading and walking have become vestigial

Celebrate this Memorial Day with a walk or bike ride. Jump rope, twirl a hula-hoop, shoot marbles, play jacks or hopscotch. Think of it as Luddite kitsch - as ever BB

"They talk of the dignity of work. Bosh! The dignity is in leisure." - Herman Melville

Triple Crown's 2nd Jewel

Excitement builds here in Baltimore as the third Saturday in May approaches and with it the Preakness Stakes. Being an aficionado of the Sport of Kings, I will share some interesting facts about this illustrious equine event.

The first Preakness Stakes was run in 1873 at Pimlico Race Course. It is named for the colt, Preakness, who won the first race held at Old Hilltop in 1870. The inaugural Kentucky Derby did not occur until two years after the first Preakness. Curiously, 2009 was the 135th  Kentucky Derby, but the 134th Preakness. This discrepancy arises because no Preakness occurred in 1891, 92 or 93. Neither is the oldest thoroughbred contest in the United States. That renowned race is the Travers Stakes held in Saratoga Springs, NY.

The Preakness has not always been held in Baltimore. In 1890, it was run in the Bronx. Coney Island hosted the race from 1894 to 1908. It returned to Pimlico in 1909 where it has stayed. Regretfully, the 2010 home of the Preakness is uncertain.

My favorite arcana about the Preakness concerns the flowers that drape the winning horse. Each Triple Crown Race has its flower. The Kentucky Derby is the Run for the Roses. White carnations grace the winner of the Belmont Stakes. Being the state flower of Maryland, the Black-Eyed Susan represents the Preakness. That poses one problem. This flower blooms between late June and early July. However, the race occurs in May. The solution - a florist paints the center of daisies black. Presto - Black-Eyed Susans! - as ever BB

"Horse sense is the thing a horse has that keeps it from betting on people." - W.C. Fields

Ear-ie

“'But I don’t want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.

'Oh, you can’t help that,' said the Cat. 'We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.'
'How do you know I’m mad?' said Alice.
'You must be,” said the Cat. 'or you wouldn’t have come here.'” - Lewis Carroll from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

December 23, 1888 - a chilly night in Arles in the south of France, two friends argue. One wants to return to Paris to paint. The other pleads with  his friend to remain and pursue their muse together. Being passionate men, the argument grows violent and continues out on the street. What happened next is a matter of conjecture.

The artists were Paul Gauguin and Vincent Van Gogh. The commonly held story is Gauguin departed. In a distraught rage, Van Gogh sliced off part of his ear, wrapped it and delivered it to a brothel. Returning to his house, he fell asleep. Hours later Van Gogh, close to death from loss of blood, was roused by the police . 

Two German historians now surmise that a fight ensued in which Gauguin struck with his epee severing Van Gogh's ear. Gauguin, a known fencer, cut a bella figura wearing the sword by his side. In letters to his brother, Theo, and to Gauguin, Vincent mentions a "pact of silence." Gauguin wrote to a friend that he could never speak ill of Van Gogh, "a man with sealed lips." The secrecy was to protect Gauguin from prosecution. The historians also cite the word "ictus" written on an early sketch of Van Gogh's bandaged ear self-portrait. Ictus is a Latin fencing term which means cut or stab.

We may never know the actual story. Gauguin and Van Gogh never saw each other after that fateful night. In 1890, Van Gogh shot himself while painting in a field. In 1903, Gauguin died in Tahiti of syphilis, alcoholism and a dissipated life. - as ever BB

"Art will remain the most astonishing activity of mankind born out of struggle between wisdom and madness, between dream and reality in our mind." - Magdalena Abakanowicz

May Day

Welcome the month of May! Embraced by the workers of the world as International Labor Day, the 1st of May's repute began in ancient times.  The half-way point between the vernal equinox and the summer solstice, the Celts called it Beltane. The Germanic tribes called it Walpurgis Night.

After months cooped up inside, the clement weather precipitated raucous celebrations including dancing around the May Pole and crowning a May Queen. As Christianity replaced polytheist religions, folk traditions morphed into Christian ceremonies. The month of May was dedicated to the Virgin Mary. She became "Queen of the May" revered by novenas and recitation of the rosary.

In May, 1886, America's nascent labor movement demonstrated at Haymarket Square in Chicago. Police were sent to quell the mob. A bomb was thrown, shots fired, deaths occurred. The movement adopted May 1st as a day to honor organized labor. Appropriated by socialists, the Soviet Union used this day to display it's power and might. In France it became an annual day of protest. 

Of trivial note, the distress signal, "May Day" has nothing to do with the 1st of May. It is the anglicized version of venez m'aider - French for "Come help me!" 

No matter what your religious, or political predilection, enjoy the day. Warmer weather with its hint of summer beckons all to festoon a pole with flowers and dance like a dervish. - as ever BB

"Be like a flower and turn your face to the sun." - Kahlil Gibran

Brush Up Your Shakespeare

Most scholars agree the Bard of Avon was born on April 23, 1564, making today his 445th birthday. Several websites and a few cities have declared this day, Talk Like Shakespeare Day. Forsooth, these rants could becometh a zany addiction!

Rants, zany, addiction - are all words coined by Shakespeare. The Oxford English Dictionary claims 1,700 words and phrases in use today were created, or at least made popular, by him. This fact has not been lost on later writers. A sample of the works whose titles come from Shakespeare include: Aldous Huxley's Brave New World from The Tempest; William Faulkner's The Sound and The Fury from Macbeth; John Steinbeck's The Winter of Our Discontent from Richard III.

Theories abound that Shakespeare's works were ghost written by Francis Bacon, Edward de Vere, Christopher Marlowe and others. No matter who held the pen, the artistry is undeniable. "Wear my heart upon my sleeve" - Othello; "Be-all and end-all" - Macbeth; "All that glitters is not gold" - Merchant of Venice

So, today, work some pearls of Elizabethan literature into your daily conversation. If someone cuts you off on the highway, don't brandish the middle finger and yell a four-letter profanity. Cry out "A pox upon your house, you rank, white-livered, canker-blossom."

And remember, when born we cry that we are thrust unto this stage of fools - as ever BB

"Brush up your Shakespeare, start quoting him now.

Brush up your Shakespeare, and the women you will wow!" - Cole Porter from Kiss Me Kate based on The Taming of the Shrew

Earth Day

The first US Earth Day was held on April 22, 1970. Several cities across the nation hosted celebrations that day including Philadelphia whose event was in Fairmount Park. 

I was 15 and attending a Catholic prep school in South Jersey. Most school districts closed, so students could attend. But the Pallottines would not stop educating our young minds because of some "radical happening".  The day before the event, they called a school assembly. The principal announced that classes would be held on April 22 with attendance taken throughout the day to ensure against truancy. 

To his dismay, I had just studied the 19th century Transcendentalists. Taking a cue from Thoreau's Civil Disobedience, I stood up and declared I would not attend school that day and accept any consequences that ensue. To my surprise several of my schoolmates joined me.

Philly's hippie guru, Ira Einhorn (later infamous for the 1977 murder of  his girlfriend, jumping bail, living underground across Europe then fighting extradition until  2001) opened the festivities. Allen Ginsburg played the harmonium and chanted. Several rock bands performed. We drank from a communal jug of water and ate avocado and alfalfa sprout sandwiches offered by a lovely girl wearing a tie-dyed skirt and peasant blouse. I reveled in a counter culture idyll. 

39 years have elapsed. Time has eroded my idealism; its detritus creating a slag heap of cynicism. However, the embers of defiance still burn leaving a glimmer of hope that activism can bring change and a better world. - as ever BB

"We will require a substantially new manner of thinking if mankind is to survive." - Albert Einstein

Yo Banana Boy

Today's title is a palindrome; playful words or phrases that when read backward read the same as forward. The word, from the Greek (palin - back & dromos - way or direction), was coined by Ben Johnson, English playwright and contemporary of Shakespeare. 

The Romans and Byzantine Greeks had fun with this form. Poems in ancient Sanskrit contain palindromes. One of my favorite sources for them is the "Ballad of Palindrome" by the western swing/cowboy group Riders in the Sky. Even dyslexics can enjoy palindromes! 

Here are some of my favorites:

A man, a plan, a canal - Panama / Tons O snot / Lager sir is regal  / Do geese see God?/  

Madam, I'm Adam / Borrow or rob? / Cigar? Toss it in a can; it is so tragic /

In it ram a martini/ Flee elf! / Evil is as I live 

I've been keeping a list of ones I made up myself, or come across, for years. These should suffice for now- as ever Bob Otto aka Otto Bob 

"To handle a language skillfully is to practice a kind of evocative sorcery." - Charles Baudelaire

April Fools

April 1st, a day to follow the motto "Never trust a prankster!"

The day's origin is shrouded in a mist of obscurity. Some say it began with the change from the Julian to the Gregorian calendar. Others trace the origin to Charles IX of France moving New Years from April 1 to January 1. In either case, those who were unmindful of the date change were April Fools. The tale of fools in Chaucer's Nun's Priest Tale occurs on March 32nd and is believed to be an allusion to April Fools' day.

Here are some of my favorite April Fool pranks:

1985 Sports Illustrated - on the newsstands April 1 - George Plimpton wrote an article about pitcher, Sidd(harta) Finch, picked up by the NY Mets. He could throw a 168MPH fastball after training in a Buddhist monastery. The first letters of the subhead spelled out "Happy April Fools' Day".

1996 Taco Bell took out a full page ad in the NY Times announcing the lease of the Liberty Bell from the US government to use as the new company logo. The White House phone lines were jammed with complaints. In a press conference spokesperson, Mike McCurry, added with tongue in cheek that the Lincoln Memorial would now be the Lincoln Mercury Memorial.

1998 Burger King ran an ad in USA Today touting it's new left-handed Whopper, designed to drip only on the right-side. Stores reported many customers asking for the new sandwich, but many more specifying they wanted the old, right-handed Whopper.  

Happy April Fools' day! Be on you toes - as ever BB

"We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance." - Japanese proverb

Goodbye to the Funky Beat

Yesterday, March 24, Uriel Jones died. He was the last surviving drummer of the Funk Brothers. They were the house band for Motown Records' Detroit period. When Motown moved to LA in 1972, the Funk Brothers were broken up.

They played on more Number 1 hit records than Elvis, the Beatles, the Rolling Stones and the Beach Boys combined. Aside from the Motown hits, they moonlighted on sessions that produced, Boom Boom Boom, by John Lee Hooker, (Your Love Keeps Liftin' Me) Higher & Higher, by Jackie Wilson, Cool Jerk, by the Capitols and many others. 

Gleaned from the best jazz musicians in Detroit, the Funk Brothers created the music that became the Motown sound. They were the label's unsung heroes as the company's policy was not to list the musicians on the album. It wasn't until one of the last, and best,  Detroit Motown albums, Marvin Gaye's What's Going On, did they receive credit on the album sleeve.

Rock & Roll heaven just got funkier - as ever BB

"A good groove releases adrenaline in your body...That's what good drumming is all about." - Mickey Hart 

Vernal Equinox

Friday, March 20 at 7:44am EDT is the vernal equinox in the northern hemisphere. Below the equator, it will be the autumnal equinox. From the Latin equal (aequus) and night (nox), the amount of day time to night time is virtually equal. This date marks the beginning of astronomical Spring. Meteorologists divide the seasons by months, so Spring for them began on March 1. 

A religiously significant day, the vernal equinox was New Year's day to the Persians, and a holy day to the Baha'i and Zoroastrian religions. Jewish Passover is the first full moon after the new moon after the equinox. Christian Easter is the first Sunday after the first full moon on or after the equinox. The ancient Egyptians built the Great Sphinx so it faces the rising sun on this day.

A popular folk notion is that you can balance an egg on its point during the equinox. I believed and have done this experiment in the past. The theory being that on the equinox the world is upright on its axis, the fluid in the egg will be level, thus allowing it to sit on its end. Alas, this is not true. With patience and a steady hand, an egg can be stood on its end any day of the year. - as ever BB

"It's spring fever...you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so." - Mark Twain

Wearing of the Green

St. Paddy's Day approaches. It's Paddy, from the Gaelic Padraig, not Patty. Across the land, people will be wearing green to show pride in their Irish heritage, or just to join the party.

Until the 20th century, blue, more than green, was the color associated with St. Patrick and Ireland. Early paintings  depict him in blue robes. The Presidential Standard (flag) of Ireland is a gold harp on a blue field. Blue is the color of the Irish coat of arms and the flag of Connacht.

In the 1830s, the Irish diaspora brought thousands to America. In Ireland St. Patrick's Day was a holy day of obligation filled with prayer and church services. But in America, the day took on more secular overtones. Originally, the "wearing of the green" meant donning a shamrock. Now, face paint, dyed hair and outrageous green attire are de rigueur on March 17. Parades fill the streets and merry-making fill the pubs. 

So hoist a pint of Guinness and a dram of poteen - Erin Go Bragh!- as ever BB

"The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad. For all their wars are merry and all their songs are sad." G.K. Chesterton

Historical Apocrypha

Today's word is apocrypha. Originally referring to books of the bible that had dubious origins, it means writings or beliefs that are not true. History is full of these, and here are a few of my favorites.

Napoleon was short. This is so wide-spread that a short man syndrome bears his name. Two reasons exist for this misbelief. First, in 1821 when he died, the French physician listed the emperor's height as 5'2". This figure uses the French measurement know as pieds de roi. Using our measurement system Napoleon's height was 5' 6.5". At that time the average height was 5' 5", so he was of slightly above average height. The other reason is that history is written by the victors. Deriding Napoleon's stature sat better with his enemies.

Before Columbus' voyage of 1492 most people thought the world was flat. Blame this one on an 1828 biography of Columbus written by Washington Irving. It contains as much truth as the legend of Sleepy Hollow. Going back to the Ancient Greeks, most knowledgeable men understood the earth was an orb.

Sir Thomas Crapper invented the flush toilet. Two things are incorrect with this statement. Mr. Crapper was never knighted. Somehow along the way a "Sir" was added to his ignoble name. The first flushing commode was patented by an Alexander Cummings in 1775, sixty years before Thomas' birth. Crapper owned a plumbing store and held several patents to improve the toilet, but was not, nor ever claim to be, it's inventor. 

There was never a battle on Bunker Hill, Jayne Mansfield was not decapitated, the Great Wall of China cannot be seen from space...exercise your skepticism because things aren't always as you were told.  - as ever BB

"Great intellects are skeptical." - Frederich Nietzsche

The Bird

Nothing avian about this entry, it concerns what I'll call the middle finger salute. Due to my penchant for arcane knowledge,  people constantly send me emails about interesting facts. Most are spurious. 

One purported the middle finger gesture originated at the Battle of Agincourt. Allegedly, the French planned to cut off the middle fingers of the defeated English longbow men, so in the future they could not operate their lethal weapon. After a surprising English victory, the archers taunted the French by extending their middle fingers. Several things are wrong with this scenario. 

First the use of the middle finger as an insult dates back to the ancient Greeks. Roman historians relate it's use as a degrading gesture in Greek comedies. They even gave it a name: digitus impudicus (impudent finger) . 

Secondly, this decisive battle introduced the use of the longbow's effectiveness in a large conflict. The French could not have anticipated the weapon's impact. And, being mostly nobles, the French discredited the English peasant archers as inferiors.  So, it is doubtful they planned such an action against them. 

While not as creative as other motions like the bent elbow or flicking the hand under one's chin, this simple gesture has an appeal that you can't put your finger on.- as ever BB

"For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother..that fought with us upon St. Crispin's day." -  Henry V, Wm. Shakespeare - Henry V's address to his troops before the Battle of Agincourt

Valentine's Day - Whose Fault?

February 14 is the bane of many men. What to get - flowers, candy, jewelry, chocolate, a vacuum cleaner? Then there's the card! Who writes those things? Your choice is a paean of cloying sentimentality, or silly, sophomoric doggerel.  

Tradition puts the blame on St. Valentine, but which one? The Catholic church recognizes three, one from Rome, one from Umbria and one whose origins are foggy, but was martyred in Africa. The connection between any of these and romance is tenuous and most probably apocryphal. 

Actual blame starts with those pesky troubadours of the 12th and 13th centuries. Before them, there was no concept of romantic love. Chaucer mentions a tradition of Volantynyis Day in his poem Parlement of Foules. However, no record of a tradition can be found before this allusion. The true culprit is a cabal made up of florists, greeting card and candy companies. 

One bright spot is the seasonal outbreak of conversation hearts - those ubiquitous hard candies with messages like "Oh You Kid" and "Be Mine". The New England Confectionery Company (of NECCO Wafer fame) will make over 8 billion of them this year. Inexpensive and available at any corner store, these make for a great emergency gift. You can't tell if they are stale, so if you're lucky, you might still have some left over from last year. - as ever BB

"...one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on love lyrics." - Frank Zappa

The Day Superman Died

Today in 1968, Neal Cassady died after being found in a coma lying next to railroad tracks outside San Miquel de Allende, Mexico. Raised by an alcoholic father in a series of skid row flop houses, self-educated in public libraries and pool halls, Cassady became a touchstone of the Beat Generation. 

Reading Jack Kerouac, he's Dean Moriarty and Cody Pomeroy. In Howl, Allen Ginsberg calls him "N.C. secret hero of these poems". In his book about the Hell's Angels, Hunter Thompson refers to him as "the worldly inspiration for the protagonist in two recent novels." He was Sir Speed Limit, the driver of Further/Furthur, the Merry Pranksters' psychedelic bus - mentioned as "Cowboy Neal at the wheel of a bus to never-ever land" in the Grateful Dead song That's It for the Other One.

The title of this blog comes from a piece Ken Kesey wrote about the death of Cassady. Kesey imagines him counting railroad ties on his way home and quotes his last words as sixty-four thousand, nine hundred and twenty-eight. Cassady's prowess behind the wheel was legendary; his raps were inspirational and maniacal. He could quote from memory large sections of Proust's epic, Remembrance of Things Past. To quote author/Prankster/Skypilot, Ken Babbs, "He was divine and imperfect merged...a singular talent with a singular mission."

Neal Cassady died  four days prior to his 42nd birthday. Requiescat in pace - as ever BB

"Never knock the way the other cat swings." - Neal Cassady

Special Birthday

February 12, 1809 - a baby boy was born to a poor Kentucky farmer while across the Atlantic, a wealthy English doctor had a son. 200 years after the births of Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin, they remain two of the most recognizable figures in history. The memories of both are shrouded in myth. More the pity, as their actual stories with all their human foibles exposed are much more interesting. That task belongs to others, but here are some interesting facts:

Darwin was not hired as the Beagle's naturalist, but invited on the voyage to be the captain's dining partner. He assume the position of naturalist and was not paid. Darwin never mentions the word evolution in The Origin of Species, and it was 20 years after the voyage  before he published this work.

Lincoln is the only President to hold a patent (a devise for buoying vessels over shoals). Most people felt he won the famous Lincoln/Douglass debates, but Douglass won the election. Then, the people did not vote for senators. The state legislatures did. Senators were not universally elected by popular vote until the passage of the 17th amendment in 1913. 

Politics and science can now destroy the world; however, these two men used them to enrich us all. as ever - BB

"Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves." - Abraham Lincoln

"Ignorance more frequently begets confidence that does knowledge." - Charles Darwin

The Garden State

New Jersey is the Rodney Dangerfield of the United States. From Ben Franklin's comment that it's a keg tapped at both ends to Andy Warhol's quip the the state bird  is the mosquito, Jersey gets no respect. Jersey is the only "New" state that regularly drops the first word in its name. The others don't say York, or Mexico or Hampshire. but ask someone from the Garden State where they live, and you will get a succinct, Jersey.

The first thing to understand about the state is it's schizophrenic nature. In colonial times, it was West and East Jersey. Now it's North and South Jersey. That indeterminate line lies somewhere around Trenton. This dual personality harks back to Franklin's comment as the state is overshadowed by New York City and Philadelphia. 

My home state is known as a dump for garbage and the mob's dead bodies, for syringes and condoms lapping up on our beaches, for toxic waste and chemical plants. In size, population density, percentage of open versus populated land and industrial development, New Jersey is comparable to Connecticut. But the latter is seen as a beautiful piece of New England and the former is seen as a smelly piece of...you get the idea. 

A reason for this could be that the two major highways through Connecticut amble past pastoral greenery while the Jersey Turnpike and Garden State Parkway bisect oil refineries and electric plants. 

Jersey has miles of beautiful beaches, the best diners, delicious tomatoes, juicy blueberries and the Pine Barrens - mysterious home of the Jersey Devil. Plus you never have to pump your own gas! Only someone raised in the loving, yet callous, bosom of New Jersey could persevere the brunt of endless jokes, the disdain of the other 49 states and remain the epitome of cool. - as ever - BB

"The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New Jersey." - Woody Allen

This jive bows my wig!

Translation: This language excites me! 

Jive's murky history begins with the African American slave experience in which people of different languages and dialects strove to communicate in a hostile, foreign environment. Simmered like a gumbo in New Orleans, it absorbed creole phrasing and inflections. Early Jazz musicians added their riffs and carried it up the Mississippi to Chicago and finally New York. During this journey, jive assimilated nuances from the nefarious world of criminals, the imagery of poets and the sundry input of ne'er-do-wells.  Never stagnant, jive constantly changed meanings and revised words, so even the cognoscente struggled to stay hip.

As an example, take the word for someone who understands jive, or in the patois "has their boots on" - Originally a hepster, then a hep-cat, then a hipster, then transformed into an adjective "to be hip", and by the 1960s had morphed into the iconic hippie.

To experience the vibrancy of this colorful language, I recommend three sources: Cab Calloway's  The New Hepster's Dictionary, the Language of Jive, Milton "Mezz" Messrow's Really the Blues and any of the brilliant monologues from comic stylist Lord Buckley which are now available as MP3s  - as ever - BB

"Hipsters, flipsters and finger-poppin' daddies, knock me your lobes!" - Lord Buckley's jive rendition of "Friends, Romans and countrymen, lend me your ears." from Shakespeare's Julius Caesar.

Crazy Counsel

Many years ago, an old friend told me this fable. He attributed it to the founder of Hasidic Judaism, Ba'al Shem Tov. Whether or not that is accurate, I do not know. But it has always amused and uplifted me.

A rabbi was an advisor to a king. One day the king called him into his chambers. The king told the rabbi that through his spy network, he discovered that an enemy had poisoned the kingdom's water supply. The poison would not kill, but make all who drank it insane. The king had a private, secure water source. He asked the rabbi, "How can I rule my subjects? They will all be insane and if I remain sane, they will think me crazy. What should I do?"

The rabbi thought for a while and then told the king, "We shall mark our foreheads and then drink the poisoned water like everyone else. We will become crazy, but the mark will remind us that we chose to be crazy. That will make all the difference." - as ever - BB

"A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are others crazy?" - Albert Einstein

Balls of Confusion

Friends continually suggest topics for my blog. I am remiss in thanking them, but appreciate their help.  Any assistance for ideas is welcome . Whether or not I follow up remains my prerogative.  Two such suggestions melded in my cranium and provide today's rumination.

First is the pawn brokers' symbol of three golden balls. Anyone who has passed a pawn shop knows this symbol. Great places to find bargains, they are usually located in the  seedier parts of town which provides an excellent opportunity to absorb local color. 

Several etymologies exist for the symbol. Banking pioneers, the Medici family's crest contained three gold orbs. The seal of the  Italian province of Lombardy has three gold coins. One side of the Jewish shekel had three pomegranates on a single stem. Any of these, or a combination of them could be the origin of the symbol. One interesting side-note is that St. Nicholas is the Patron Saint of pawn shops. Ironic as many of us could avail ourselves of this form of money lending to pay off our holiday bills.

The other blog suggestion was the source of the phrase "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey". This expression is said to come from the storage of cannon balls on a ship. The iron cannon balls would be stacked on a brass plate call a "monkey". Cold temperatures would shrink the plate causing the balls to fall off. 

Colorful, but debunked by both the US Navy and the Oxford English Dictionary. Cannon balls were stored in shot racks on the spar or gun deck. The OED further notes that the phrase "cold enough to freeze the tail off a brass monkey" as preceding the testicular version. Small brass monkey figurines from Asia were popular gifts in the Victorian era. The editors believe the later embellishment was more for effect than accuracy. - as ever BB

"A man's errors are his portals of discovery." - James Joyce