Happy New Year!

2008 bows out and we ring in 2009. Approximately 4,000 years ago, the Babylonians celebrated the new year at the first new moon after the vernal equinox. The Romans continued the springtime new year, but each emperor could not leave the calendar alone, so the date kept shifting. The Senate finally adopted the Julian calendar and started the new year on January 1. 

The Julian calendar had a 10 month year which is why Sept., Oct., Nov. & Dec. come from the Latin for 7, 8,9, and 10. They are now the 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th months because later calendar revisions added the months of July and August (after Julius and Augustus Caesar).

January is named for Janus (in Latin Ianus), the god of the doorway. He has two faces on his head looking in opposite directions - back at the old year and forward into the new year. 

New Year's Eve and Day have many traditions. Listening to Guy Lombardo and the Royal Canadians play "Auld Lang Syne",  watching the ball drop on Times Square, eating Hoppin' John. But the tradition that is closest to my heart is the Mummer's Parade in Philadelphia. Not the Broad Street parade, but the informal parade down Two Street after the official parade. Nothing says Happy New Year like doing the Mummer's Strut to "O Dem Golden Slippers" surrounded by a group of inebriated clowns, men in drag and other mummers! - as ever - BB

"New Year's is a harmless institution, of no particular use to anybody save as scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, friendly calls and humbug resolutions." - Mark Twain

Fruitcake

This much maligned holiday treat dates back to the ancient Egyptians. Fruitcake-like loaves were found in tombs and assumed to be food for the journey to the afterlife. Many believe those same ones are being re-gifted today, and would only eat fruitcake after they have shuffled off this mortal coil.

The Romans feasted on fruitcake as did many other cultures. But the Europeans' "discovery of the new world" and its vast supply of sugar increased the cake's popularity. In times before rapid transportation and refrigeration, the fruitcake was a good way to preserve fruit for winter consumption. The large amounts of sugar and generous use of alcohol, aid in preventing bacteria growth. They also account for the cake's substantial weight.

Some interesting fruitcake facts:

47% of recipients re-gift fruitcake; 11% throw them out; "feeding a fruitcake" is the term for soaking it with alcohol (which can be whisky, bourbon, rum or brandy); depending on custom a fruitcake can be fed over a day, month or an entire year; a fruitcake should not be served for a minimum of a week after baking to give the fruits the opportunity to ferment and increase  in flavor; kept in an airtight tin, a fruitcake can stay fresh for up to 25 years.

For the record, I truly enjoy fruitcake. It is a tasty, nutty treat. I prefer ones fed with brandy. - as ever BB

"The worst gift is fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world and people keep sending it to each other." - Johnny Carson

Password

Once an enjoyable game show with Allen Ludden, now passwords are the bane of my life. A true test of memory, it's not just remembering the password, but which password for which application. Personal email, work email, work computer, home computer, home alarm, work alarm, the ATM, work voicemail, home voicemail, this blog - the list expands exponentially. 

For security purposes, they are never written down, and must be more devious than birth dates, or family names. One day,  they will flee my dustbin-like cranium, and leave me out in the cold, albeit in peace - as ever - BB

Chico: You can't come in unless you have the password. I'll give you three guesses. Here's a hint, it's the name of a fish.

Groucho: Mary

Chico: Ha-ha, that's a no fish.

Groucho: Well she drinks like one. Let's see, is it sturgeon?

Chico: You crazy a sturgeon is a doctor who cut you open when you sick.

Groucho: I got it Haddock!

Chico: I got a haddock too. 

Groucho: What do you take for a haddock?

Chico: Sometimes I take-a aspirin; sometimes I take-a calamel.

Groucho: I'd walk a mile for calamel. 

Chico: You mean chocolate calamel. I like that to, but you no guess it.  - "Horse Feathers" from memory, so may not be exact. Also the problem with my passwords. By the way, in the movie it was swordfish.

Blasts from the Past

Before the era of super highways and 65 mph speed limits, driving cross-country did take longer. However, it gave the driver and passengers the lovely opportunity of enjoying  America's roadside charms. One of these treasures was the Burma Shave Signs. 

From the 20s to the early 60s, these poetic signs dotted the asphalt landscape. Placed 20 to 30 yards apart, six signs when read in toto gave a unique advertising message. Sometimes the boards conveyed safe driving tips, but no matter what the message, the series always ended with "Burma-Shave".

The interstate highway system and increasing speed limits, rang the death knell for these amusing  billboards. Here are some of examples of the kitschy, nostalgic doggerel:

Every shaver/now can snore/six more minutes/ than before/ Burma-Shave

A peach/is fine/with lots of fuzz/But your face is no peach/and never was/Burma-Shave

Within this vale/of toil/and sin/your head grows bald/but not your chin/Burma-Shave

On curves ahead/remember Sonny/that rabbit's foot/didn't save/the bunny/Burma-Shave - as ever - BB

"Genuine poetry can communicate before it's understood." - T.S. Eliot

Not The Usual Holiday Fare

The television stations are awash in holiday classics. Why do they play the same movies over and over ad infinitum? As a public service, I have compiled a list of some of my favorites. These usually don't make the airwaves, or if they do it's on a obscure network during the early morning hours.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians - a 1964 film that has been on many worst movie lists. Look for an eight-year-old Pia Zadora as one of the Martian children.

We're No Angels - a 1955 film about 3 escaped convicts on Devil's Island, not your usual Christmas setting. Starring Humphrey Bogart, Peter Ustinov and Aldo Rey as the title characters, with Basil Rathbone as the dastardly, Uncle Andre, this movie doesn't have the standard holiday plot.

The Dead - a 1987 John Huston film based on a short story from James Joyce's "The Dubliners", quite a title for a yuletide movie.

The Shop Around the Corner - this 1940 film starring Jimmy Stewart is  more typical. I've listed it here because it's a hard find on TV even at this time of year. 

Holiday Affair - a 1949 film with Robert Mitchum and Janet Leigh. Casting Mitchum in this light, holiday, romantic comedy was a bizarre decision. At the time he was at the height of his film noir/war movie popularity. 

So, if you're sick of the same films, try one of these for an eclectic holiday jolt. - as ever BB

"...every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding and buried with a stake of holly through his heart.." Ebenezer Scrooge

Eight to the Bar

This phrase comes from boogie-woogie music's use of eighth notes in a 4/4 measure.  It was made popular by the 40s tune, "Beat Me Daddy Eight to the Bar" which saw a resurgence in the 70s on  Commander Cody and his Lost Planet Airmen's first album. 

Aside from virtuosity and a strong left hand, a good nickname is needed to be a boogie-woogie piano player: Memphis Slim, Professor Longhair, Cow-Cow Davenport, Piano Red, Speckled Red (these "Reds" were brothers who were both albinos) and Pinetop Smith. 

Many credit Smith with the style's first hit, "Pinetop's Boogie-Woogie", recorded on Vocalion Records in 1928. He was scheduled to go back to the studio in 1929. However Pinetop was shot dead in a dance hall before the session could occur. It's not clear whether he was the bullet's intended target or not. About 10 years later, a newly formed Downbeat Magazine printed an article about it titled "I Saw Pinetop Spit Blood". - as ever- BB

"I don't care much about music. What I like is sound." - Dizzy Gillespie

Trivia

Those who know me, know my penchant for trivia. Arcane facts interest me. Here are some examples:

What is the drive-in movie the Flintstones go to see during the credits?

The answer - The Monster 

Who was the first actor to win an Oscar, an Emmy and a Tony award?

The answer- Thomas Mitchell Who is he? You may know him as Uncle Billy in "It's a Wonderful Life", also Scarlett O'Hara's father in "Gone with the Wind"

Who are the only actors to win Oscars for portraying the same character in different movies?

The answer - Marlon Brando & Robert De Niro for Vito Corleone in Godfather I & II

That is just a sampling of the useless facts that fill my head. I have no idea why, but I remember the nonsense much easier that the important things - as ever - BB

"I like nonsense; it wakes up brain cells." Dr. Seuss (real name Theodor Seuss Geisel - his mother's maiden name was Seuss - more trivia!)

Holiday Shopping

"Once more unto the breech, dear friends, once more." Wm. Shakespeare, Henry V 

The line above is uttered by England's Henry V as he rallies his troops before the walls of the French fortress, Harfleur. Those words popped into my head as I entered a mall parking lot this past Friday. The ominous "Black Friday".

I can't remember the last time I went shopping on that dreaded day. I hate shopping in general, but that day is the apex of everything I despise about that pastime. This year, circumstances beyond my control forced me to enter this fray. To be honest, the experience was not at bad as anticipated. Of course anticipation is always worse than the experience itself. However, it was less than pleasant.

What really upsets me is the fact that my excursion had nothing to do with holiday shopping. So I still have the onus of that obligation with which to deal. Of course I do have 23 days to put off  that task. - as ever - BB

"Never put off until tomorrow, what you can do the day after tomorrow." - Mark Twain