Egad, Danggumit!

Heck, criminey, zounds...these exclamations, known as minced oaths, have been used for centuries to express frustration or surprise without giving offense.

Pseudo-profanities date to ancient Greece. During the time Socrates was edifying Athenians, the king disapproved of the populous swearing to the gods. He made it a crime to do so, and they began swearing to trees, birds and rocks.

The invention of the printing press,the rise in literacy, and the power of the church led to a flowering of minced oaths. Many phrases thought to be Elizabethan colloquialisms were created to avoid using the Lord's name in vain.

Ods Bodikins- By God's body or over God's body//Zounds - God's wounds//Gadzooks - By God's hooks (nails on the cross)//Begorrah - By God

Time did little to change this editorial practice. Words that passed muster in earlier times, were revised by later generations. 19th century editor, Thomas Bowdler tamed some of Shakespeare's phrases and lent his name to the process of rewording existing works - bowdlerization.

Two of my favorite minced oaths are in common parlance today and few know their origins. Before Disney, Jiminy Cricket was an interjection used in place of Jesus Christ. Before Bart Simpson, Desi Arnez introduced "Ay, Caramba" to America's TV audience. This is a Spanish pseudo-profanity. Ay - being an exclamation for pain and caramba being a minced oath for the male genitalia.

Think of that the next time you catch an I Love Lucy rerun and hear Desi say, "Ay caramba Lucy, you can't be in the show" - as ever BB

“Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it will not be allowed” - Mark Twain

Annual Benediction

As the last Thursday of November approaches, we prepare for a nationwide celebration of giving thanks. The facts behind this holiday blur with the abridgement of history and the passage of time. I point out certain misunderstandings not to lessen the day's import, but to illuminate how time distorts our view.

This week, eager young minds learn about the First Thanksgiving in 1621 at Plymouth Plantation. Forgotten are the thanksgivings held by Martin Forbisher in Newfoundland in 1578, by the Spanish in St. Augustine in 1569, or by colonists in Virginia in 1619.

Another fallacious fact concerns the Puritans. That first group of religious refugees who landed on Cape Cod wanted to separate from the Church of England. They called themselves Saints and others called them Separatists.

Puritans did not disembark onto our shores until several years later in Boston Harbor. They wanted to purify, not separate, from the Church of England. These strict, intolerant zealots presided over the infamous witch trials, banished or slaughtered those who would not convert to the Puritan view. Think of them as the colonial Taliban.

Those desperate settlers scratching existence on the Cape did not call themselves pilgrims. But that term is more accurate. In his Of Plimouth Plantation, William Bradford borrowed from the Old Testament (Hebrew 11: 13-16), "..they were pilgrims and strangers on earth." In the 18th century, writers like Cotton Mather began calling these emigres, pilgrims.

These trivialities don't amount to a hill of mashed potatoes as you sit enjoying food, family, friends and football. What matters most is to give thanks for what you have. I want to thank all of you for tolerating my musings and broadsides. As ever - BB

"Gratitude is a quality similar to electricity: it must be produced and discharged and used up in order to exist at all." - William Faulkner

Lesterese

Lester Young, a seminal figure in Swing and Bebop, played tenor saxophone with many jazz greats. Aside from his music, what attracted me most about The Prez was his fashion sense and use of language.

In the 40s, most big band musicians wore formal wear to perform. Coming from a more relaxed, Kansas City tradition, Lester wore rumpled suits and a pork pie hat. His hat became so iconic that when he died, Charlie Mingus entitled his elegy for Lester, Good-Bye Pork Pie Hat. With his horn's smooth tones, sophisticated harmonies, his relaxed dress and flippant attitude, Young embodied the ethos of cool.

For me, his most fascinating trait was the language he used. Jive is nothing new to musicians. But Lester didn't just popularize the patois like Cab Calloway or Mezz Mezzrow, he created his own vocabulary. One of words he coined, bread meaning money, made it's way into the Jive Dictionary,

His friends would marvel at this unique vernacular calling it Lesterese.

• Bob Crosby - police or other law enforcement officer
• His people - the keys on his saxophone
• George Washington - a song's bridge
• Bomber - a drummer with a heavy touch
• Way back - an old girlfriend

Like many of his ilk, the oppression of Jim Crow and personal demons shortened the life of this master musician. But his music lives on as does his language.

"My people were smooth during that George Washington. Too bad the bread didn't smell as sweet. Watch out for Bob Crosby, he's been sniffin' round that bomber's way back." - as ever BB

"I stay cool, and dig all jive,

That's the way I stay alive.

My motto, as I live and learn,
is

Dig and be dug
In return." - Langston Hughes

Doggone Good

"Blues is a natural fact, it's something that a fellow lives." - Big Bill Broonzy

Rudy "Rude Dog" Strukoff knows the Blues, plays the Blues, lives the Blues. The music's innate excitement and soul should be heard live. But Rude Dog's latest CD, Resurrection, captures the art form's essence and vitality.

This collection of previous recordings, many no longer available, shows not only the breadth of the blues, but the range of Rude Dog's talent.

Huddie Ledbetter's "Gallis Pole" and Robert Johnson's "Love in Vain" display Rudy's grasp of traditional blues. "I'm Ready" and "Back Door Man" pay homage to Chicago and "Born Under A Bad Sign" adds some Memphis spice.

Strukoff's unique style augments the selection with a half-dozen originals. "They Call Me the Rude Dog" highlights his sense of humor, and Baltimore's local color surfaces in "My Little Hampden Hon."

This CD's a keeper. Resurrection displays not only Rude Dog's outstanding technique, but his fervor for the music. That's a natural fact. - As ever BB

Clutch Hit

Clutch Cargo - maybe it wasn't a hit, but it was one of my best-loved cartoons. First aired in 1959, it ran for 3 seasons. Clutch with his ward Spinner, dog Paddlefoot and grizzled, pith-helmeted sidekick, Swampy would thrill this five-year-old every week with cliff-hanging adventures.

It also involves one of my premier cartoon/TV trivia tidbits - Swampy was voiced by actor Hal Smith. While not a household name, everyone knows Hal Smith from playing Otis, the town drunk, on the Andy Griffith show.

Clutch Cargo used the animation technique - Syncro-Vox. Human lips mouthing the lines would be superimposed onto the animation cells. Producers liked this process not because of edgy technology, but because it was cheap. Cartoons done in Syncro-Vox incurred about 1/5th the cost of those done traditionally.

Cambria Productions patented this technique and followed Clutch Cargo with Space Angel. This cartoon had good plots, some of which were "borrowed" several years later by sci-fi icon, Star Trek. The final Cambria offering was Captain Fathom. This ran for one season, 1965, and is remembered by myself and probably no one else.

Cheaply done animation, kitschy production and inferior artwork earmarked these cartoons. They were as cheesy as a bag of Cheetos, but didn't get orange detritus all over my fingers.

Snycro-Vox lives on...in Pulp Fiction where a Clutch Cargo segment can be seen on a television set, in Conan O'Brien's fake celebrity interviews on Late Night and in the talking pirate picture during Sponge Bob Squarepants' opening credits.

Obviously, I was a five-year-old who was ahead of his time - as ever - BB

"To me bad taste is what entertainment is all about." - John Waters

Thoughts on a Rainy Day

Rainy Day Women #12 & 35 - I never understood the title of this Dylan tune. Maybe that was his intent. Rain is a paradoxical thing. As a boy, nothing was more disheartening than a rained-out Little League game. Yet, rain during a football game was a surprise gift. Bruises and losses were inconsequential amid the joy of mud-covered combat.

The Bergeron process explains the condensation of atmospheric water vapor into liquid precipitation. How soporific! Earlier civilizations waxed far more poetically. On the southern shores of Lake Titicaca is a ruin called the Gate of the Sun. Carved in the center is the Sky God. The ancient Inca believed that rain poured forth from his eyes and called it "tears from the skies."

Be it a stormy nor'easter or a gentle shower, when you find yourself rained upon don't feel so all alone. Everybody must get wet! As ever - BB

"Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby." - Langston Hughes

Musical Notes

Ephemeral effluent oozes from the temporal lobe of my cerebral cortex. Over the years, sensory neurons formed a continuum of long-term potentiation. Neurological pedantry aside, the ensuing exudation elucidates some music trivia.

Most people know Richard Wagner's iconic "Ride of the Valkyries" from the operatic cycle, Der Rings Des Nibelungen. Fewer know the song, "Here Comes the Bride", is the "Bridal Chorus" from his opera, Lohengrin.

Many theories exist about the etymology of the word jazz. The word came from the jasmine perfume worn by working girls in New Orleans' brothels, from the French word for chatter, jazer, from the African/Creole, jaz, meaning to speed-up, from the J.S., one of the first riverboats to feature jazz.

According to the generally accepted theory, jazz was borrowed from baseball. In the early 20th century, sportswriters used the term to express vim or vigor. The hitter had some jazz on his bat; the pitcher's fast ball showed some extra jazz. That origin is compelling as baseball and jazz are two uniquely American institutions.

High school pals, Howard Kaylan and Mark Volman, formed 60's pop group, The Turtles. After that band broke up, they joined Frank Zappa's Mothers of Invention. Contractual restrictions not only forbade them from using their former band's name, but from using their actual names. Enter the Phlorescent Leech (Howard Kaylan, later shortened to Flo) and Eddie (Mark Volman).

In addition to working with Zappa, Flo & Eddie lent their harmonies to performers as divergent as T Rex, David Cassidy and the Ramones. They also created the music for the children cartoons Strawberry Shortcake and Care Bears.

Pedal steel guitar player, Sneaky Pete Kleinow, anchored the sound of seminal country rock band, The Flying Burrito Brothers. He played with the Rolling Stones, Joni Mitchell and countless others. Kleinow was also a special effects artist. Specializing in stop motion animation he lent his talents to TV shows like Gumby, The Outer Limits and David & Goliath. His motion picture work included The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao starring Tony Randall.

Hopefully the release of this data will prevent the information in my gray matter from reaching critical mass. as ever - BB

"I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it." - Groucho Marx

Gimme a Shot Out Of The Blue Bottle

That's diner-speak for Bromo Seltzer. Adam & Eve on a raft - wreck 'em, Noah''s boy on bread, walk a cow through the garden and pin a rose on it. These evocative phrases epitomize the golden age of diners

(For those less fluent in diner-speak: two scrambled eggs on toast, a ham sandwich and a hamburger with lettuce, tomato and onion.)

Diners evolved from 19th century, horse-drawn lunch carts. In the early 20th century, entrepreneurs bought discarded railroad dining cars, set them down on an undeveloped parcel of land and started serving up the kitchen sweepings (a plate of hash).

As a kid, Sunday morning after mass, the family would end up at one of the local diners. The Diamond Diner (originally the Grove Street Diner), the Collmont, the Oaklyn Diner, Ponzio's were all within three miles of our house. Once I had a driver's license, I could expand my diner dalliance to Olga's, the Brooklawn and the Melrose (Everybody who knows goes to Melrose).

Open 24-hours, diners provide sanctuary and a hot meal any time of day. I would sit nursing my cup of hi-test (black coffee), picking at Eve with a lid on it (apple pie), or cackle fruit with pigs (eggs and bacon) waiting for sunrise.

Alone in a booth reading the ubiquitous newspaper, I felt like a figure in Edward Hopper's Nighthawks. Instead of loneliness, or melancholy, I felt security and warmth. I'd people watch for hours on end fabricating situations and back-stories for those I observed.

As the man said in the old news reels, time marches on...but the diner remains. I'm heading down to my local eatery to get a heart attack on rack (biscuits & gravy). As ever - BB

"In a restaurant one is both observed and unobserved. Joy and sorrow can be displayed and observed "unwittingly," the writer scowling naively and the diners wondering, "What the hell is he doing?" " - David Mamet

"We're Goin' Hoppin"

October 7 has double significance for American Bandstand. The show, with local dancers, first aired in Philadelphia today in 1952. (It began in September with film clips, interviews and no dancers.) Five years later, October 7, 1957, Bandstand aired prime time on Monday nights. This lasted only two months.

Originally a local show, Bob Horn's Bandstand, in August 1957 it went national. The name changed to American Bandstand. By then, the host was Dick Clark. In 1964, American Bandstand moved to Los Angeles losing its Philly panache.

Bandstand was just one of the Philly dance shows during that era. "Sunshine on the Pier" from Steel Pier in Atlantic City with Ed Hurst, the Geator with the Heator, Jerry Blavat's "Discophonic Scene" and Ron Joseph's "TV Dance Party" all competed for the Delaware Valley's youth.

Each of these began on radio. Along with Hurst and The Geator, Philly's airways grooved to Joe Niagara, aka The Rockin' Bird, and Hy Lit. Through my pocket-sized AM radio, they introduced me to rockers like Eddie Cochran and Gene Vincent, the Detroit soul of Motown and the Memphis beat of Stax.

By the time I reached my teens, FM radio was changing the market. Psychedelia was blossoming. The original Electric Factory had opened in an old tire warehouse at 22nd & Arch and the underground newspaper, The Distant Drummer was published. In 1968, Sun-Ra moved his Arkestra to the Germantown section of Philadelphia.

Things were never the same, but I thank those DJs for applying my rich, musical base coat. As ever - BB

"We're going hoppin'/We're goin' hoppin' today/Where things are poppin'/The Philadelphia way..." - lyrics to Bandstand Boogie - written in the 50s as a big-band instrumental; Barry Manilow penned the lyrics in 1975.

Penny Ante

A friend and co-worker got married last weekend. The most interesting station at the reception was the candy bar. In a corner of the room stood a table filled with jars containing a wide variety of penny candies, a smorgasbord of sweets.

Aside from a considerable sugar-buzz, this conglomerate of confections produced a pang of nostalgia. Being old enough to join AARP, I remember the small "Mom & Pop" stores that carried these tasty tidbits. The favorite stores in my hometown were Don's and Keefer's Korner. During school months, by 3:15pm lines of kids clutching nickels awaited their daily candy fix.

Swedish fish, Double Bubble, Mary Janes, Bit O'Honey, paper sheets covered in candy-buttons, atomic fireballs, wax bottles filled with sugary syrup - a veritable cornucopia of candy was crammed into eager mouths. By the 70s, these establishments began dying out. Today, the Internet is the largest purveyor of penny candy. While it's reassuring to be able to purchase these tactile memories of youth, ordering on-line and waiting for delivery doesn't capture the same ambiance of a local store and a queue of classmates. With ubiquitous inflation, a penny no longer suffices.

Some attribute the decline of penny candy's popularity to the inception of shopping malls and the demise of the small family-owned stores, some to the rise of mass-marketing. Browsing a book store, I came across "Whatever Happened to Penny Candy" by Richard Maybury. I expected an nostalgic romp into a world of delicious wonder. What I got was an economic treatise.

Written less onerously than most fiscal tomes; it still wasn't what I expected. Discussion of our free market system modeled on Austrian economics, comparisons of neoclassical and subjective theories of value and methodological individualism did not whet my appetite. I found solace, however, in a pound of gummy bears and some pixie sticks - as ever BB

"Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker

You can drink all the liquor down in Costa Rica.

Aint nobody's business, but my own." - Taj Mahal

Acute Hirsute

One of the secondary sex characteristics of the human male is the increase production of body hair. Through the ages, man has had a love/hate relationship with his facial hair. Some civilizations embraced beards to others they were anathema.

Archaeologists found clam shells believed to be used by Neanderthals to pluck facial hair. Alexander the Great banned the beard from his army to deny foes whiskers for which to grasp his soldiers. The Greeks and Romans saw beards as a sign of virility.

By the 17th century, facial hair fell out of fashion in Europe. Peter the Great so strongly desired to follow the continent's lead that he levied a whisker tax to trim the Boyars' beards. Two centuries later, facial hair experienced a regrowth and entered its Golden Age.

The 19th century saw muttonchops, mustache wax and meticulously manicured beards. No American President sported facial hair until Abraham Lincoln. Abe's beard started a trend and for the next 52 years, all but two chief executives followed suit. The last President with facial hair was William Howard Taft.

"Never trust a man in a beard." 20th century society embraced this adage. A man in a beard must be hiding something. Only bohemians and ne'er-do-wells wore whiskers. Anarchistic beatniks donned goatees as they played the bongos. The word "beard" became slang for subterfuge. Married movie moguls romancing young starlets would attend premieres and galas with their paramours and a good-looking young actor. Said actor was the mogul's "beard" to throw off inquiring gossip columnists.

At first genes, then later corporate policies, gave my facial hair a close shave. However by my 40s, my free spirit manifested itself. For the past 15 years, I have sported a Van Dyck as an outward sign of my non-conformity. Well, that and the tattoos - as ever BB

"There's many a man has more hair than wit." - William Shakespeare

All the News in Fits of Pique

Before movable-type, the public received its news by word-of-mouth. People assailed travelers with questions about happenings outside of their parochial environs. By the 15th century, the printing press and use of the vernacular expanded information.

Time marches on...radio and newsreels gave life to the headlines. Television brought these images into our homes. In the 50s, national news took 15 minutes out of the programming day. The 60s expanded coverage to a half hour of national combined with a half hour of local news. Over the next decade coverage increased, and the dam broke in 1980 when Ted Turner created CNN.

The news is now major programming and provides networks with millions in advertising dollars. With several 24-hour news providers, the focus is no longer on facts. Broadcasters interpret and opine. They present a myriad of dross as news no matter how inane.

Demagogues rule the airways. Kowtowing to popular desires and prejudices has replaced journalism. Thirty minute press conferences generate hours of analysis. Coiffed talking-heads explain what we heard, how it affects us and what we should think about it. Celebrity peccadilloes prompt hours of coverage.

Integrate this with tweets and social website postings to replace thinking with indoctrination and propaganda. What me worry? - as ever BB

"...the press affords sufficient information to elate vanity and stiffen obstinacy, but little to enlarge the mind." - Dr. Samuel Johnson in the mid-18th century - some things never change!

Time Squared

The opening of a Pop Tart superstore in Times Square this week triggered several synapses in my old cranium. The mere fact that a foil-wrapped, prebaked toaster pastry warrants a super store is too preposterous to ponder.

A neurotransmitter diffused impulse that I can write about is the metamorphosis of Times Square from bucolic Longacre Square to a veritable Brand Theme Park.

Originally farm land, the area was renamed Times Square when the NY Times moved its headquarters there in the early 20th century. As theaters proliferated around Broadway, Times Square became part of "The Great White Way."

The decline began during the Great Depression. By the 60s, Time Square had become a nefarious den of go-go bars, strip joints and adult sex shows. In the 90s, the city had cleaned up its salacious underside heralding the era of "Disneyfication".

Now, neon and LED displays flash logos from West 42nd to West 47th. Jumbotrons herald messages proclaiming that in this digital/viral age, location advertising still works. Brand experience and orientation create perceptions in the consumer. These perceptions generate brand recognition which positions a product/service apart from the miasma of competition. (Insert a transparent plug for Gaga's understanding and mastery of brand marketing here).

Regardless of new innovations to deliver your message, your brand remains the linchpin of marketing. Times Square is a colorful, vivacious bazaar of brand awareness. Of course, the Naked Cowboy still embodies New York City's eccentricity. - as ever BB

"Every advertisement should be thought of as a contribution to the complex symbol which is the brand image." - David Ogilvy

Time Out

"The only reason for time is so everything doesn't happen at once." - Albert Einstein

The sun rises and sets in different places as the earth moves. The moon and stars change position from month-to-month. These objects were the first keepers of time. Man, in his hubris, believed he could do better.

Shadow clocks, sundials, water clocks, then sand-filled hourglasses dictated early man's daily activities. Mechanical escapements, pendulums, electronics, quartz and atomics have permitted us to dissect the day into smaller, more accurate parts. Time became a device for the myriad of man-made bureaucracies to dominate our lives.

Paradoxically, the more we scrutinize time, the more befuddled we become. Is time the fourth dimension? Does time-slice ontology lead to unchanging reality, or to flux and decay? Maybe such cerebral exercises are just a waste time.

Engrossed in monitoring our movements through life, we forget to savor its beauty, sanctity and unpredictability. We should remember to occasionally take a time out. Deep-six our watches and give time a rest. As ever - BB

"Time is but a stream I go a-fishing in." - Henry David Thoreau

New Jersey's Fault

This morning Gaithersburg, MD experienced an earthquake. The tremor measured slightly over 3 on the Richter scale. Seismologists attribute it to the Ramapo Fault, which runs through New Jersey.

Sure, blame New Jersey. From colonial times (Ben Franklin called it a barrel opened at both ends) to modern times (Andy Warhol claimed the state bird was a mosquito), New Jersey has gotten a bad rap.

The Ramapo, a band of the Lenape Tribe, inhabited northeastern New Jersey. Their namesakes include the Ramapo River, Ramapo Mountains and Ramapo State Park. Not every New Jersey Park ends with "& Ride."

The Pine Barrens have the nation's largest and purest watershed (17 trillion gallons). New Jersey has 127 miles of beautiful, sandy beaches. It grows delicious tomatoes, corn, blueberries, cranberries and grapes. Bramwell Welch founded his juice company in Vineland, NJ in 1869.

But nooooo..., as John Belushi would say. The Pine Barrens are known for the Jersey Devil, the beaches are thought to be littered with syringes and used condoms, many think the state produces nothing but gangsters and guidos.

Stereotypes are inaccurate perceptions created by small minds. So as I enjoy Taylor's pork roll and drink my cawfee, I got your fault - rightcheer! As ever - BB

"Comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." - Finley Peter Dunne

Wait for the Pop

During my casino gypsy days, I spent four years in Davenport, Iowa. Besides being the hometown of jazz great, Bix Beiderbecke, Davenport is the birthplace of chiropractic medicine.

In the late 19th century, D.D. Palmer founded chiropractics and coined the term. At his 2nd Street office, he practiced on the deaf janitor, Harvey Lillard. Palmer's manipulation of the janitor's spine produced a loud pop. Harvey mentioned hearing a buzzing sound. They both realized the noise was coming from the street below. Harvey could now hear.

I was told this story many times while in Davenport. To me, it's a metaphor of life. We plan, dream, work and scheme to reach our destination. But, life is an uncharted sea and unknown breezes alter our course. Few are where they thought they'd be ten, even five years ago.

Always listen for that pop. Performing a mundane chore, or during some idle past time, POP, an unexpected manipulation can open your ears to life-changing sounds. - as ever - BB

"Penetrating so many secrets, we cease to believe in the unknowable. But there it sits nevertheless, calmly licking its chops." - H.L. Mencken

Of Thee I Sing!

Sunday is the Fourth of July. Festivities will be as varied as the nation’s constituents. Our roots gravitate from every country, ethnicity, and social strata.

Far from being monolithic, our culture is an amalgam. America absorbs heritage from each huddle mass that yearns to be free and from civilizations extant prior to European pioneering. If this country is a melting pot then we, the people, are the viand – a gumbo, a pozole, a burgoo.

A fine example of this stew is old time music. Also known as folk music, hillbilly music and Appalachian music, the genre mixed Celtic, German, African, French and other traditional rhythms to create an American sound.

Originally families would play these tunes together at home. Minstrel and medicine shows took them on the road. By the 1920s, radio and records had spread the sound across the rural and urban landscape. Old time music laid the groundwork for what would become country, bluegrass, blues and rock ‘n roll.

The names of these string bands reflect the music’s creativity and humor: The Skillet Lickers, Dr. Humphrey Bate & His Possum Hunters, The Fruit Jar Drinkers, Seven-Foot Dilly & His Dill Pickles to name a few.

This weekend wherever you celebrate, in the backyard, at the beach, on the porch, on the stoop, grab a guitar, banjo, fiddle, kazoo, spoons, or whatever you have. Revel your patriotic fervor with a glorious noise. As ever - BB

“As I was walking a ribbon of highway/I saw above me an endless skyway/I saw below me a golden valley/This land was made for you and me” - Woody Guthrie

Hot Dog!

Red Hot, wiener, frankfurter, wienie, dachshund sandwich, meat slurry by any other name would still taste as sweet.

As Independence Day approaches, aficionados look to their Mecca - Coney Island and the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. I discussed the bout for the Mustard Colored Belt last year. This year’s focus will be on the morsel itself.

Food historians relish debating the origin of the sausage. Some cite a translation of Homer’s The Odyssey that mentions the sausage; others eschew that translation. Some attribute the treat to Nero’s chef; others boil at that idea and claim it apocryphal.

By the Middle Ages many cities laid claim to the legend of the link. Frankfurt, Germany declares a local butcher created a pre-cooked sausage, ergo the Frankfurter. Craving to catch up to its rival, Vienna, Austria also alleges ancestry. Vienna in German is Wien from which comes the word wiener.

But a sausage is just that until its put on the bun. Who first matched bun and wiener? Those stories peel forth like layers from an onion. Several world fairs, sidewalk and sport venue vendors claim the bright spark of adding the bun.

One fact is certain. In 1916, Nathan Handwerker left his employer to sell hot dogs for half what the ex-boss charged. This action gave rise to an annual July 4 tradition - watching grown adults shove as many red hots down their gullet as they can in 10 minutes. That’s what this country is all about. As ever- BB

"I devoured hot dogs in Baltimore 'way back in 1886, and they were then very far from new-fangled..." - H.L. Mencken

"It's like a bromance...I'm having fun with it." - Joey Chestnut current holder of Nathan's Mustard Colored Belt

Thumbs Up

During the Depression, thousands of teenagers left home to ride the rails. Some left to escape hardship, some to find work and some seeking adventure.

I entered my teens in 1967 with a strong wanderlust and a craving for precarious thrills. By then the free transit option of choice was hitchhiking. For almost a decade, putting out a thumb and accepting rides from strangers was my principle mode of transportation.

The rides were sometimes mundane, sometimes interesting and sometimes unnerving. As the proverb says, “God watches over fools.”

During these treks, the one constant was a sense of freedom. Whether a seven-mile hop across the bridge into Philly, or a cross-country journey, the act of putting out my thumb, throwing caution to the wind and offering myself to the Moirae exhilarated me. No matter what the outcome, I had crossed the Rubicon and the die was cast. Nothing in later life has captured that sense of disenthrallment.

I have not hitchhiked in many a decade, but often think of the open road. My heart stirs to the words of Walt Whitman, “Reckless O soul, exploring.” – as ever BB

“I might be walking over to a kid's house, then of all a sudden I would just stick out my thumb and hitchhike across three states.” Rickie Lee Jones

World's Most Popular

Football, not the gargantuan of American television but the international sensation we know as soccer, is the planet's most popular sport. From June 11 to July 11, millions of excited fans will focus on the World Cup in South Africa.

Ancient Chinese and Japanese texts mention a ball game using only the feet and head. The Romans enjoyed a similar pastime. The sport's acceptance took time. In 14th century England, King Edward III outlawed the sport as a public nuisance. Queen Elizabeth I levied punishments of up to 27 days incarceration for playing football. Times changed and 250 years later, England formalized the rules of game we know today.

Gaga Marketing embraces the world's most popular sport and sponsors the Rangers FC, a 1st Division Futbol Club based in Washington, DC. As of last weekend, they are in first place with a record of 5-0!

As World Cup fever raises the temperature of fans around the globe, you don't have to endure the hassle of international travel to enjoy world-class soccer. Just check out the next Gaga Rangers game. - As ever BB

"To say that these men paid their shillings to watch twenty-two hirelings kick a ball is merely to say that a violin is wood and catgut, that Hamlet is so much paper and ink." - J.B. Priestley

Canyon Believe They're Doing This?

Mark Elmore, Gaga's arduous adventurer, along with his intrepid mates will attempt to climb down the Grand Canyon, cross it, climb up the other side, camp and then do it back again the next day. A Herculean task to say the least.

It's all for a good cause. The link below explains it better than I. Please be generous and support this noble cause.

La Bonne Chance brave champions- as ever BB

"I attempt an arduous task; but there is no worth in that which is not a difficult achievement." - Ovid

Click this link for more information

https://atl.etapestry.com/fundraiser/ConnorsHeroes/HikingforHeroes/

Senescence

Days lengthen, nights shorten, the summer solstice is nigh. My natal anniversary precedes the solstice by several days. The American male's average lifespan is 75.6 years. Statistically speaking that puts me in the game of life's final quarter.

Shuffling off this mortal coil has never concerned me. Perhaps, it's my fascination with philosophy. Why worry about the end of existence when I'm not even sure what existence is? The ontological starting point for western philosophy is Descartes' phrase, "I think therefore I am." Popeye said, "I yam what I yam and that's all I yam." What about the existence of the sweet potato?

Many Eastern philosophies believe existence is an illusion. The Buddhist concept of anatta, non-self, negates worries over material and physical being. The Buddha did not deny self, but denied the phenomenality of self. An enlightened person transforms from insignificant self to bhavit-atto (one of significant self). Try working that into a birthday card.

Many say the final quarter of a professional basketball game is the most exciting. That is what I expect of my final quarter. Life proceeds whether the Primal Bingo Caller's next ball is 2B or not 2B. As ever - BB

"Swift as a shadow, short as any dream, brief as the lightning in the collied night." - William Shakespeare from A Midsummer's Night Dream

May Day

The person issuing this distress call must repeat it three times to distinguish it from similar sounding words. The signal has nothing to do with the first of May, but comes from the French, venez m’aider - come, help me.

Across the world, labor activists, socialists and others have designated May 1 as a day to honor workers. It’s also known as International Workers’ Day, or Labour Day.

The International Workers of the World (aka the Wobblies), led by Big Bill Haywood, celebrated one of the first May Days. I have an affinity for guys named Big Bill.

• There is blues man, Big Bill Broonzy who copyrighted over 300 songs and is best known for his version of Key to the Highway.
• Gangster/bootlegger/gambler, Big Bill Dwyer owned the first professional ice hockey team and first NFL team in New York City.
• Roaring 20s’ tennis great, Big Bill Tilden helped popularize the sport in the US.
• Country music performer, Big Bill Lister toured with Hank Williams. Hank liked touring with Big Bill because they both loved to sneak away and go fishing between gigs.
• Big Bill Thompson, mayor of Chicago and minion of Al Capone, is known not only as the last Republican mayor of the Windy City, but also as one of the most corrupt mayors in US history.
• Big Bill Morganfield, blues guitar player is the son of the great Muddy Waters – real name McKinley Morganfield.

May Day, May Day, May Day! How did musings about the first of May segue into a rant on men nicknamed Big Bill?

Curiouser and curiouser, cried Alice– as ever BB

“All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening.” Woodrow Wilson

Penny For Your Thoughts

It began with an innocuous gift, a pair of penny loafers. The question arose, “Why a penny?” I figured the loafer part came from the fact that they were casual shoes to be worn while relaxing. Wrong!

My quest for an answer began on a dairy farm. Cows who are ready for milking move to a loafing area. Several websites extol the benefits of keeping bovine in this area before and after milking.

Norwegian dairy farmers wore easy-on/easy-off shoes when walking to and from the loafing area - ergo loafers. By the 1930s, Norwegians began selling these comfortable shoes. Esquire, then the final word in men’s fashion, did an article about loafers, and they became a casual wear necessity for American males.

Several U.S. companies began producing them. G.H. Bass & Company named their version Weejuns from Norwegian. To add a distinctive flair, Bass added a slotted saddle across the vamp of the shoe.

By the 50s, loafers had become de rigueur for teenagers. Enter the ubiquitous penny. Here, the streams of time and fiction muddy our search. Allegedly, concerned parents would slip dimes into the slots; so loafer-wearing adolescents would always have change for an emergency phone call. Back when people used payphones and a call cost a dime. Somehow a penny replaced the dime. Why? Several stories abound.

Kids liked the look of a coin in the shoe. Once the dime was used, they inserted pennies because they were cheaper. A shiny copper penny looked better in the loafer. The penny was added for good luck. Whatever the reason, the fad caught on by the mid-50s.

I’m confident about the etymology of loafer as slang for a slip-on shoe, but the veil of time cloaks the reason for inserting a penny. One question remains unanswered. Do I put pennies in my new shoes? – As ever BB

“I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty" - Imelda Marcos

Modus Vetatio

Our mode of transportation began with two feet and progressed to the internal combustion engine powering metal, plastic and rubber to shuttle us hither and yon.

The other night sitting with friends at a local public house, the conversation turned to bygone vehicles. This degenerated into a "can you top this" cavalcade of clunkers, jalopies and heaps. The air became thick with tales of mechanical legerdemain that would befuddle Rube Goldberg:

A 1962 Rambler with a push-button automatic transmission that would pop out of gear while in operation.

A 1964 Delta 88 which would not start unless the radio and heat were on and had a horn that sounded whenever the car took a sharp left turn.

A 1966 GTO with a bad starter. You had to make sure to park on an incline and have a couple friends with you to pop the clutch. Once running the carburetor occasionally needed adjusting. If the engine stalled during this process, the push-start was repeated.

A 1973 Vega that burned a quart of motor oil every 250 miles and had a large hole in the floorboard which facilitated emptying one's bladder without stopping. Great for road trips as long as you had a case of Quaker State in the trunk.

A 1975 Granada with power steering so bad Herculean strength was required to turn, brakes that had to be pumped three times before working and a passenger door tied to the floorboards and roof to keep from falling off.

As the evening deepened, our stories transformed from tales of terrible tribulation to paeans of past pals. We had advanced into middle-age; our lives filled with responsibilities to duty and humanity. Remembering these ersatz vehicles sparked a melancholia for an earlier time when the journey was more important than the destination, or the conveyance. As ever - BB

Darn the wheel of the world! Why must it continually turn over? Where is the reverse gear?" - Jack London

April Fool's Flim Flam

One of Herman Melville’s last novels, The Confidence Man, begins on April Fool’s Day. A con man sneaks onto a riverboat traveling down the Mississippi River to New Orleans. Allegedly, Melville’s inspiration was William Thompson a true-life gonif for whom the term confidence man was coined.

Another fraudster whose antics became common parlance was George C. Parker. Throughout the late 19^th and early 20^th century, his livelihood came from “selling” New York City landmarks including the Brooklyn Bridge. From his peculations, we get the phrase, “Believe that, and I have a bridge to sell you.”

Cinema embraces the scoundrel: Newman and Redford in The Sting, Frank Morgan as Professor Marvel and his Oz counterpart, the Wizard in The Wizard of Oz, W.C. Fields as Larson E. Whipsnade in You Can’t Cheat An Honest Man and, my personal favorite, The Flim-Flam Man.

In this 1967 film, George C. Scott plays Mordecai C. Jones, M.B.S., C.S. D.D – Master of Back-Stabbing, Cork-Screwing and Dirty Dealing. His portrayal embodies the larcenous soul , but soft-heart, of a confidence man. Alas, real life scammers can be less benevolent.

So tomorrow, if perchance an April Fool's practical joke comes your way remember the motto of Ken Kesey and his merry band - Never Trust a Prankster. As ever - BB

"The secret of being a top-notch con man is being able to know what the mark wants, and how to make him think he's getting it." Ken Kesey in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest

On Dad & Dada

My father was a small town general practitioner. I remember him taking his black bag on house calls and leaving in the wee hours of the morning to deliver babies. Combined with rounds at the hospital, office hours, etc., Dad always felt he was giving his children a short shrift. To alleviate this, he would organize excursions to occupy his horde of hellions as he bonded with us.

One of my favorites was the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Dad let us wander the halls trying to keep his eye on us - more for the museum's welfare than our own. I think he felt any transgressor would go the way of the kidnappers in O Henry's The Ransom of Red Chief.

At first I spent my time in the Armory among halberds, claymores, scimitars and muskets. Eventually I began to roam through other exhibits. At age 11 or 12, I became fascinated by a bicycle wheel bolted to a white stool aptly titled Bicycle Wheel. A bored docent noticed me and asked why my interest. My response was something erudite like "I don't know. It looks cool." He proceeded to explain Dada and show me the work of Duchamp, Arp, Ernst and others.

Excitedly, I ran to my father, dragged him over and professed my love of Dada. "It's anti-art. It ridicules the meaninglessness of the modern world." As he shook his head, his face revealed a mixture of feelings. Pride in my newly acquired knowledge; relief in my attraction in something other than weaponry; dismay over my embrace of the absurd.

I would see that look many times in subsequent years as I expanded my interests. In art from the surreal to the abstract, in music from the psychedelic to free-form jazz, in literature from the Transcendentalists to the Beats. I delighted in anything different and bizarre.

Through it all Dad would relish in my boundless curiosity and take solace that I had a sister and three brothers whom he deemed more conventional. As ever - BB

"It is a wise father that knows his own child." - William Shakespeare

Renaissance

Rebirth, literally to be born again...culturally and historically, it refers to a period from the 14th to the late 16th century in Europe. Renaissance invokes names like Dante, Ghiberti and Da Vinci.

However, today's musing focuses on the esoteric. Amidst piles of snow and ice, thoughts turn to the vernal equinox, Spring, the sweet anticipation of warm sun and gentle rain loosening the icy grip of Ded Moroz. Grandfather Frost's severity this year rouses an atavistic desire to light bonfires on hilltops like the ancient Druids atop Uisneach on Beltane.

Rebirth, winter into spring, death to life symbolized by the egg, an ancient symbol of resurrection. A pagan allegory appropriated by Christians to celebrate the dawning of their faith during Easter. The name derives from Eostre, the Saxon goddess of the dawn and fertility. Coloring eggs goes back to Zoroastrian rites during the festival of Nowruz (New Day - their New Year).

Enough esotericism, now some helpful hints. Boil your eggs in the skin of on onion for an orange tint - the more onion skin used, the rustier the color. Add beet juice and vinegar for a pinkish hue, a cabbage leaf and vinegar for a robin's egg blue. I'd like to see Heloise link Eostre, Beltane, Zoroaster and egg-dying. As ever - BB

"O, wind, if winter comes, can spring be far behind?" - Percy Bysshe Shelley

Playing Close to the Alabama Vest

In 1842 clockmaker, Thaddeus von Clegg, met musician Alabama Vest in Macon, Georgia. Vest wanted an instrument made to his exact specifications. Von Clegg undertook the task producing the kazoo as we know it.

Altering the human voice by stretching a membrane across the opening of an animal horn or hollow reed dates to prehistory. These mirlitons, classified as membranophones, produce sound through the vibration of a membrane. Kazoos are singing membranophones - the only non-drum instrument in this classification.

Alabama Vest is legendary in the kazoo's who's who. Oddly except for the clockmaker's tale, there is no evidence that this mysterious musician ever existed. Von Clegg sold kazoos as a sideline until his fateful meeting with traveling salesman, Emil Zorg. He "borrowed" the design and in 1916 started the Original American Kazoo Company, which exists to this day.

The kazoo achieved its acme in the 1920s. From juvenile marching bands, to college campuses, to Paul Whiteman's Orchestra, the kazoo was as ubiquitous as the speakeasy. Over time, the instrument was banished to the toy chest. Cue the Jug Band Craze.

During the early 60s jug bands sprang up across the country. Boston had the Jim Kweskin Jug Band, New York City had the Even Dozen Jug Band, San Francisco had Mother McCree's Uptown Jug Champions.

Being of questionable talent, I adapted well to the jug band's relaxed musicality. Enlisting a group of gadabouts, we performed at parties and coffee houses as the Pass The Jug Band. Gone are those halcyon days, but January 28 is National Kazoo Day. So, tune up the ol'6-string, dust off the tin kazoo and launch into Jesse Fuller's San Francisco Bay Blues. - as ever BB

"Willy goes into a dance and doubles on kazoo." - Down on the Corner, Creedence Clearwater Revival

TaxonoMy Rock 'N Roll Shoes

Humans attempt to categorize information. Linnaean taxonomy set the benchmark for this discipline. Order, genus, species - everything fits into well-defined compartments. Alas, as Robbie Burns opined, "The best laid plans..."

Not everything lends itself to such precise analysis. Take rock 'n roll. This expansive term includes Cold Play, Run-DMC, the Grateful Dead, Carl Perkins, Frank Zappa, The Velvet Underground, the Ramones, King Crimson and the 1910 Fruitgum Company. Styles of this music branch off like the phylum cnidarian hydra. Now aren't you sorry you didn't pick up that biological dictionary at the flea market?

From its blurry beginnings, rock has had indistinct delineations. Louis Jordan's jump blues, to Bob Wills and his Texas Playboys, to Bill Haley & the Comets to Elvis and beyond. The male gamete of the blues cross-pollinated with the female gamete of gospel producing the blossom Rhythm & Blues. Further hybridism yielded rockabilly, soul music, acid rock, heavy metal, orchestral rock, punk, new wave, grunge, ad infinitum.

In early 1968, Gram Parsons joined the Byrds incubating country rock. On March 15 of that year, they played the Grand Ole Opry to a less than enthusiastic reception. Despite recent hair cuts, those long-haired hippies were told to go back to California. Years later, country audiences embraced what Parsons called "cosmic American music" as performed by the Zac Brown Band, Rascal Flatts and others.

In order to focus, our brain tries to organize the myriad of data and sensory input we encounter every day. In his book, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell, William Blake wrote: "If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite." So, try to avoid a pigeonhole mentality and endeavor to embrace the infinite.

Oy gestalt! As ever - BB

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." - Henry David Thoreau