Early Morning Symphony

Living in the city, you become selectively deaf to certain sounds - traffic noises, the sirens of emergency vehicles, medivac helicopters, etc.

This morning though was different. About a hour before dawn, sitting out in my back enclosure, the cityscape hidden behind a heavy fog, nostalgic sounds soothed my senses. First from the sea terminal, fog horns echoed through the mist. Right after that, a lonesome train whistle reverberated through the aurora. My mind transported to a simpler age when far-away travel connoted mystery and imagination. 

In this digital age with lightening quick data transmission and voluminous information at our fingertips, the centuries old sound of trains and ships can comfort our collective consciousness. - as ever BB

"Penetrating so many secrets we cease to believe in the unknowable. But there it sits nevertheless, calmly licking its chops." - H.L. Mencken

Old Dog- New Words

Well maybe old dogs can't learn new tricks, but this old dog has picked up a new word. Over a libation at a public house last night, I learned coloquation. From the Latin "co" - together and "eloquor" - to speak out. Coloquation is what linguists call words that have become intertwined due to continued usage - staunch Republican, liberal Democrat,, bosom buddy, bitter enemies, etc. Though comparing Republicans and Democrats maybe bitter buddies and bosom enemies is more apt.

Working in advertising, we have our coloquation like "brand new" or "new and improved". That has always irked me. If it's new and never existed, how can it already be improved? I guess an old dog can also be an old curmudgeon. - as ever BB

"There is nothing which has yet to be contrived by man by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern or inn." - Dr. Samuel Johnson

Day Dreaming

It was brought to my attention that today is National Punctuation Day! What is up with that? A period of time to dash around and exclaim brackets and ellipsis? 

Earth Day is April 22, Catfish Day is June 25, Left-handers day is August 13, Apple Day is October 21, Forefathers Day is December 21.  It never ends. 

Mankind will find anyway to brighten its mundane existence. Before the veil of civilization, people celebrated the changing of the seasons; these evolved into religious holy days. Governments morphed nationalism/patriotism into the celebration of  holidays. Concerned citizens carried the gauntlets of their particular causes into more holidays. Greeting card companies gave additional reasons to send notes of good-will. Producers of sundry products and services followed suit. 

So take time today to give thanks and praise for the poor, misused semi-colon, the ubiquitous coma and the other punctuation marks.  All together now, "Conjunction junction what's your function..." as ever - BB

Back in the Saddle

As they say, I'm back in the saddle after a little R&R. Who are they anyway? Whoever they are, they sure have a lot to say. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but out of sight is out of mind.  They say  ignorance is bliss, but knowledge is power. Many hands make light work, but too many cooks spoil the broth. Money talks, but talk is cheap. Action speaks louder than words, but the pen is mightier than the sword. 

All this being said, they don't know much at all. You may agree with me as great minds think alike. Of course, as they say, fools seldom differ. - as ever - BB

"When a true genius appears in this world you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him." - Jonathan Swift

Part III: It was a dark and stormy night...

Okay, I promise this is the last entry using these words. First written by Victorian novelist, Edward Bulwer-Lytton, they have become an icon of florid, tumescent language. So much so, that the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest awards prizes each year to deliciously excruciatingly bad opening lines. Here are a couple past winners:

"Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped 'Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, NJ'"

"The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarous tribe now stacking wood at her nubile feet, when the strong, clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic, crisp that chick, and you'll feel my steel through your last meal'"

This will be my last post for a while as I am off for some R&R. To quote John Huston in The Treasure of Sierra Madre, "...from now on you'll have to make your way through life without my assistance." Or, at least until I return - as ever BB

Part II: It was a dark and stormy night...

...I sat at my desk and nursed a bottle of bonded rye. Hearing the door open, I raised my peepers just in time to see her sashay in. That moll had gams that wouldn't quit. I slid my roscoe into the top drawer as I rose to greet her...

The patois of the hard-boiled detective story is a thing of beauty. Like the hep-cat's jive of the 30's and 40's, this colorful language tingles with excitement and danger. Gleaned from novels such as Raymond Chandler's The Big Sleep and Dashiell Hammett's The Maltese Falcon, these words slide over the tongue as smoothly as a shot of single-cask bourbon.

Other authors of note for this genre are Chester Himes, Robert B. Parker and Mickey Spillane. I strongly believe that the correct music can enhance the pleasure of reading. For this style, I recommend cool jazz: Lester Young - "The Complete Aladdin Recordings", Miles Davis - "The Birth of Cool", Stan Getz - "For Musicians Only".

"A good story cannot be devised; it has to be distilled." - Raymond Chandler

Part I: It was a dark and stormy night...

This classic, cliche opening to a mystery, or Gothic tale, has always put a smile on my face. It brings to mind Snoopy typing these words atop his doghouse.

Said to have begun in the mid-18th century with Horace Walpole's Castle of Otranto, many feel the Gothic tale reached its apex during the Victorian Age. From Mary Shelley's Frankenstein: The Modern Prometheus, to Poe's Fall of the House of Usher, to Hawthorne's House of the Seven Gables, to Stoker's Dracula, tales of the macabre take the reader into a miasma of dark romance, the supernatural and the occult.

What better way to pass the chilly nights of autumn than sitting in a candle-lit room, reading some Gothic literature? Preferably with Mozart's "Requiem", Beethoven's "Missa Solemnis", or a Bach fugue playing softly.

As for mysteries, my taste leans to the hard-boiled detective genre, but more on that another time. - as ever - BB

"I have, indeed, no abhorrence to danger, except in its absolute effect - in terror." - Edgar Allen Poe's Fall of the House of Usher

Lidsville

Despite the allusion to the Sid & Marty Kroft surrealistic  TV show (one of their trilogy of odd shows - H.R. Pufnstuf 1969; The Bugaloos 1970; Lidsville 1971), today's topic is hats.

I've always wanted a Panama hat for a cool cabeza and a cooler look. This summer I found the motivation to acquire one. An authentic Panama hat made from paja toquilla in Ecuador, yes Ecuador. The name Panama hat is a misnomer. These fine, light, resilient hats are produced in Ecuador. In the mid-19th century when the country started exporting these hats, it was found that the best area for distribution was the isthmus of Panama. With the construction of the canal at the start of the 20th century, the hat's popularity grew. The distribution center's name was attached to said hat and another great trivial fact was born. 

I have been so please with my new lid, that I have decided to do my part to bring the hat back into fashion. So this fall I will visit my local hatter (makers of women's hats are milliners; makers of men's hats are hatters - enough to make you mad) to be fitted for my fedora. After that who knows, a porkpie, trilby, maybe even the hard stuff like a derby or a homberg. - as ever - BB

"You've gotta have heart to make it in this business." - Dexter Gordon - eulogized in "Goodbye Porkpie Hat" by Charlie Mingus

All Vegans Dance Hard

On Saturday, 9/6, several members of the Gaga team drove west followed by the first bands of tropical storm Hanna, to attend the ribbon-cutting for the opening of the new hotel at Charles Town Races & Slots. The soundtrack for this road-trip was mid to late 70's R&B. As we boogied on down 70 West grooving to the rhythm of the rain and the funk , it was mentioned that a fellow team-member loves to dance.  One of the gang observed that she abstains from meat and all the herbivores he knows are avid dancers.

Why? The answer is unclear. Is there something in meat that blocks dancing proteins? Does an abundance of soy-based products give the feet more rhythm & bounce? We may never know, but what we do know is all vegans dance hard! - as ever - BB

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." - Charlie "Bird" Parker

"I don't care much about music. What I like is sound." - Dizzy Gillespie

Hard-Hearted Hannah

Remember the "vamp of Savannah, GA"? It was said she'd "pour water on a drowning man". This tune from 1924 was performed  by Paul Whiteman's Orchestra (I believe after the legendary Bix Beiderbecke left the band), Ella Fitzgerald, Ray Charles, Bobby Darin and others. 

Well, Hannah's namesake hurricane (minus the last h) is bearing down on the southeastern US coast. Looks like she will hit landfall a little north and east of Savannah. But rain and wind will be inundating the coastal regions. Predicting these storms is like shooting craps. You can play the odds, but there's always a chance for box-cars or snake-eyes. So batten down the hatches and stock up on the necessities. Why is it water and batteries for hurricanes, but milk and toilet paper for snowstorms? - as ever BB

"You don't like it, do you Rocco, the storm? Show it your gun, why don't you? If it doesn't stop, shoot it." - Humphrey Bogart to Edward G. Robinson in the film "Key Largo"

Wild Horses

Despite the refrain of the Rolling Stones' tune, wild horses are a rare thing in today's world. The horse was extinct in the western hemisphere before the Spanish "discovered" the Novus Orbis. In the United States, the mustang is considered a wild horse by some, but they are actually descendants of domesticated equine left by the conquistadors. 

One wild breed that still wanders the Asian plains is the onager. This sturdy animal has suffered loss of habitat and other intrusions by man, but still survives. They are nearly impossible to domesticate and are known for their vicious rear kicks. So much so, that the Romans called their catapults onagers because of the dangerous kick-back these small ballistae produced. The name onager derives from the Greek word for ass. 

Even the ancients knew that be it an animal or a siege weapon, it's not smart to stand behind a wild ass. - as ever BB

Fall Into White Shoes

According to astronomers, fall begins with the autumnal equinox, which this year occurs at 3:44pm EDT on September 22. However, meteorologists divide the seasons into specific quarters of the year. In the northern hemisphere, autumn begins on September 1 and ends on November 30. 

Stargazers and weather-watchers can debate celestial positioning versus average temperatures. However, the fashion police are far more stringent. The wearing of white shoes ends on Labor Day.

Why? It's been said that white shoes reflect the sun and as the temperature drops, darker shoes are needed to maintain the foot's warmth. This is simply blatant rationalization. You don't wear white shoes after Labor Day because it is a rule. Without this rule, we would have podiatric anarchy.  Those who flaunt such rules should be considered archenemies, sole-less heels in step with Mephistopheles. As ever - BB

"The goodness of a true pun is in direct ratio to its intolerability." - Edgar Allen Poe

Welcome

Today starts the adventures of the Gaga blog. I really have no set agenda, but as O Henry said: "The True adventurer goes forth aimless and uncalculating to meet and greet unknown fate." And unknown it is. Don't expect elucidation or information. At best, I will provide some interesting storys and anectdotes which you will find pleasing. Again, to quote O Henry, I will attempt to "Inject a few raisins of conversation into the tasteless dough of existence." - as ever - Bill