Valentine's Day - Whose Fault?

February 14 is the bane of many men. What to get - flowers, candy, jewelry, chocolate, a vacuum cleaner? Then there's the card! Who writes those things? Your choice is a paean of cloying sentimentality, or silly, sophomoric doggerel.  

Tradition puts the blame on St. Valentine, but which one? The Catholic church recognizes three, one from Rome, one from Umbria and one whose origins are foggy, but was martyred in Africa. The connection between any of these and romance is tenuous and most probably apocryphal. 

Actual blame starts with those pesky troubadours of the 12th and 13th centuries. Before them, there was no concept of romantic love. Chaucer mentions a tradition of Volantynyis Day in his poem Parlement of Foules. However, no record of a tradition can be found before this allusion. The true culprit is a cabal made up of florists, greeting card and candy companies. 

One bright spot is the seasonal outbreak of conversation hearts - those ubiquitous hard candies with messages like "Oh You Kid" and "Be Mine". The New England Confectionery Company (of NECCO Wafer fame) will make over 8 billion of them this year. Inexpensive and available at any corner store, these make for a great emergency gift. You can't tell if they are stale, so if you're lucky, you might still have some left over from last year. - as ever BB

"...one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on love lyrics." - Frank Zappa